21 March 2011
Today I got a text saying that the UPS package arrived and to explain something in the box. This confused me. It was a pretty self-explanatory painting. When questioned, I realized she meant something from the flat-rate USPS box which included some shirts. I stated this.
[The following are our texts]
L: I believe that the wearable items were delivered by ups, dear. Check your tracking number.
NH: No, it was a USPS flat rate box. I remember it well.
And only you could figure out a way to wear the other package.
L: It was not! I'm looking at it now. It's brown.
A brown UPS box arrived today containing a pair of socks, a robe, a t-shirt and a mysterious little frame WHICH YOU ARE NOW GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT.
NH: That was a flat rate box! I VIVIDLY remember this. Because I wrote it to [name], NY NY, USA, Earth. And it made the post office lady laugh.
I VIVIDLY recall this.
And I will tell you when I am DAMN WELL READY TO.
L: I am TAKING A PICTURE OF THE BOX. RIGHT NOW.
[I have not, as of yet, seen this evidence.]
NH: I'm so confused. I'm calling you.
[At this point, I called and had one ring before being shunted to voicemail.]
NH: Or I'm not calling you because you're texting in class.
[She totally was, and got in trouble for trying to take a picture of the box during class.]
[A phone call followed later in which her doorman stated to god above there was no other package for her and then I had it out with her doorman and she hung up on me. A few moments later...]
L: Hmm. Maaaaybe you were right about the 2nd pkg.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
[I am, as always, gracious in victory.]
I don't know what happened to the first package, or why it spontaneously changed colors. I am confused by this, but by god I was at least right about something today.
02 March 2011
I feel like a goddam grownup.
I'm going to go read comics for a while or something - this is just to weird.
Also, I'm making an effort to work 'like a boss' into my conversations more. Just FYI.
01 March 2011
There is a new dance craze sweeping the nation - based off Weekend at Bernie's unless I completely miss my guess. I only guess because the Berney of 'Move it like Berney' is spelled differently.
I bring up this new dace 'craze' only because it started right here, within ten miles of my home. I am so thoroughly ashamed by this.
I would be willing to pay good money to someone willing to dance like this for me. Serious.