While on my Christmas vacation my family and I played quite a bit of wii. We can't play as a team, there is far too much yelling and accusations on even the simplest sports, and god forbid you bring something like doubles tennis into it. But we do quite well with individual effort.
So imagine a fine, California afternoon. It's a balmy seventy outside, and geeks that we are we're inside playing wii hundred pin bowling, the most satisfying game ever invented. If you haven't heard the cacophony a hundred pins make when connect with a bowling ball you have not lived.
It's my turn, I have a split. The pins are easily ten feet apart. So I concoct a plan that involves bouncing my ball off the bumpers to make a billiards-type move to get both. I get ready, get set, and....
What the Hell?
Dude, is that Voldemort? And a Stormtrooper?
They totally made me flub my shot, by the way. Then, of course, no one believed me. Also, it appears it's not the same crowd every time either. While I was waiting for He Who Shall Not be Named to come around again, I also saw...
A ninja. Dude, it's a ninja! Also, some total dork there in the front, but a ninja. I don't know who the guy with what looks like a dude standing on his sunglasses is, but I'm sure if I were a better geek I would recognize him instantly.
Also, in the back of the other side...
It's the Joker! And some guy from KISS.
At this point, the game pretty much devolved into trying to find all the hidden miis.
In the end we found these guys...
But also a hamburger... And Billy Mays!
GO BUY A WII! <---- To be read in a Billy Mays voice.
Today, I received the most amazing letter of my life. Seriously. My acceptance letter from Hogwarts comes in a distant second.... a distant second.
The letter in question is from the Republican National Committee. No, I'm not a Republican. I urge you, no I command you to click on these images and read the full thing.
I was laughing so hard I was crying by the fourth "paragraph". I mean, I was lying across the table clutching the pages in my hand with tears streaming. I have never been so profoundly entreated before in my life. I shall not, Mr Chairman "desert my Party, and walk away from my conservative principles." Also, does everyone capitalize 'Party'? 'Cause I find that a little 1984.
Please stick with me... this letter gets so much better.
So apparently, there is non-stop, swooning coverage of Obama by the ultra-biased media. (If you didn't read it, let me inform you that is almost word for word what the second "paragraph" says.) Who are these media people? I know that the media gives him some leeway, but they do the same for every new president. Political parties Parties have very short memories it seems. I recall quite clearly the first seven months or so of the W administration, do you?
Wherever that non-stop, swooning channel is, I want to find it so I can run it 24-7.
Oh yeah, this is the page where the RNC accuses the Democrats of having "an agenda that is dictated by, and benefits, the special interests that bankroll their election campaigns."
...
...
BWA HA HA HA HA!
(Or on a more eloquent note... Pot? There's a Kettle on line one for you.)
No, just... no
"We have been on the defensive as the Democrats in Congress put partisan politics in front of the best interests of the nation, attacked our leaders with personal smears, and saturated the media with propaganda."
The hell? You know, there's a part of me that says: "Honestly, this letter could have come from either party if you replace Democrat with Republican and liberal with conservative," but I have a hard time believing that the Democratic party would ever put out something this puerile. Not that we're above it, but that it's way too silly and possibly offensive.
The questionnaire just pissed me off. Who worded these questions? I actually wrote next to one: "If the Democratic policies are enacted it is possible that puppies will be kicked. Do you agree with this policy of puppy-kicking? Think of the puppies." That's how badly these questions are railroading you.
I'm going to switch to the Republican Party if they regularly send out this kind of hilarity.
Uh, totally kidding about the Hogwarts letter. Yes, yes I was.
I don't even know where to start with this book because if you don't know what the Movies in Fifteen Minutesare, you're not going to really get the Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes.
Back in, what was it, '04?, Cleolinda Jones (names have been changed to protect the innocent, that and like me she uses a nom de plume online) wrote a parody/summary of Van Helsing called "Van Helsing in Fifteen Minutes." Others followed, she got a book deal (that hoor) and went on to take the Twilight fandom by storm.
But that's just the backstory, I personally caught up with Cleolinda during the Potterdamurung. Since then, I have been a pretty rabid (hey look! froth!) follower of her blog. When the Compocalypse struck this last August and everything that Cleo had so much as glanced at quit working, she went back to work she knew was successful, spruced it up a bit, and decided to sell it on Lulu. I tell you all of this backstory because, despite the horror, it is pretty funny and if you've got a few hours to spare (serious, bring a snack) you should go read all about it.
Before you even buy the book, Cleo starts with the funny "..it's actually sort of interactive. I mean, it won't play checkers with you or anything, but it does stuff dead-tree books can't do..." and it only gets better from there. I don't want to give away any of the jokes, so I'm just going to gush a little more about how great it was without giving you any examples.
The thing is, I am a huge HP fangirl. Go read my Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince movie review if your curious. What I love is that it is very evident that I'm not the only one of the two of us who loved the Harry Potter books. The fact that these were something that she both loved in book and movie format shines through every word and it separates it from many other parodies out there. Not liking it and making fun of it can be funny. But when people who genuinely love something understand its flaws, that has the potential for hilarity. Cleo hits it perfectly.
I'm going to go ahead and throw this out here, 'cause it seems to fit. This is the second book I've read recently that functioned as a commentary for something I really enjoyed. The first being, of course, Memories of the Future; and while Wheaton left me a little confused and disappointed, Cleo knocked it out of the park. I actually LOLed. If you've never read Harry Potter you can still read this. If you've never seen the movies it's still easy to read. Of course it helps to have done one or both, but it is not necessary. It does help a bit if you are familiar with the M15M format or you might be a little lost for a bit.
My only complaint (and it is a tiny tiny one) is that on my ereader it will not be anywhere near as much fun. This is because Johnny 505 does not have wireless so none of the links will work. This is definitely best read on a Kindle with wifi or on your document viewer of choice on your computer. I read it in my Ubuntu document viewer and it was lovely.
I can't stress enough how much you need to buy this book. At $6.25 it's a total steal and I'll probably buy another copy on principle. (Aw, Lulu won't let me. I haz a sad.)
Note: Yes, I call proper authors by the last name (Wheaton, Moning, etc.) yet I call Ms Jones by her first. This is because it isn't her real name anyway and the Jones is tacked on because people need a last name, even fake ones. She will be Cleo until I decide otherwise. This has been your friendly neighborhood "you totally didn't care did you" announcement.
Harry Potter was pretty much the defining force behind my college years.I read the first four my senior year of high school.The fifth I bought while on a family vacation in Italy.While everyone else was soaking up the sun on a Mediterranean beach, I was sitting on our balcony reading a copy of Order of the Phoenix that I’d bought at the Rome Termini station.I sat outside the Richmond Waterstone’s for the midnight release of both Half Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows – each was finished the same night.
I’m the Nerd Heroine and I am an HP fangirl.So take the following with a grain of salt.They could have done the movie in claymation and I would have shilled out nine bucks to see it.Also, spoilers.If you intend to see the movie and haven’t read the books – well, first of all what’s wrong with you?Second, I will be revealing minor stuff. Major stuff shall still be hid.
Contrary to what I’d read, it wasn’t as dark as I was expecting it to be.After Order of the Phoenix, I was half expecting to leave the movie in tears with a desire to kill myself. All in all, I think this didn’t have the same air of desperation that OotP did. It did have its moments of course; by which I mean, and all forgiveness to cross-referencing here, Why so Sirius Dumbledore? Although I knew it was coming, it still made me tear up.
That said, I think this was by far the funniest of the Harry Potter movies.It was partly the energy in the theater, and partly because it is in fact very very funny.On the flip side, I don’t think it has been ever more obvious that Harry Potter, and indeed the Harry Potter franchise, has grown up.Even OotP still seemed like kids playing a game with grownups.This is the first time the characters are allowed to stand up for themselves as adults on their own terms.
I remember being annoyed with the sixth book because it focused so much on the raging hormones of being an adolescent.And while I remember what I was like as a sixteen year old, I have no desire to relive it.It was played well in the movie and I didn’t want to shoot any of the main characters.Lavender?She can go away forever.
And!What was with Ginny tying Harry’s shoe at the Burrow?A woman two seats away went “What!?” which made the whole audience laugh as we were all thinking the same thing.She made herself subservient to him.Ginny was always shown as being more than Harry’s equal.What was up with that?I kind of wrote it off as romantic awkwardness, but it wasn’t very well played if it was.But she then chased after him into the flaming fire of non-canon fiery death OMG! so it all rather of evened out for me.I know you don't have a huge appearance in the last book, but be more awesome Ginny.
Total Spoilers:Yeah, they left out Dumbledore’s funeral. In the book it offered a denouement after the Battle for Hogwarts: Origins. In the movie, the original Battle for Hogwarts never happens. Bellatrix, Greyback et al show up, hang out taunting Draco for a bit [and yay Tom Felton, he had like three lines, but the lurking and scheming was awesome], watch Snape kill Dumbledore and waltz out. Harry gives chase, Snape becomes snarky. The end. There’s no need for a denouement. Nothing happens– well, other than the obvious. The emotional catharsis comes from thewands-held-high memorial the students and staff give Dumbledore. And it works well within themovie. [Denouement? Catharsis? Yes, I took AP Literature, why do you ask?]
Oh! And the bit with the Inferi on the lake where they kept showing shots of the water and the music was like 'La la la nothing to see here' and everyone who read the book knew that shit was about to go down. But it didn't and didn't and didn't and by the time it did my feet were in my seat and I was watching the movie with my hands over my ears and my eyes half-closed. Well played, Mr Yates. Well played indeed.
It is a good Half Blood Prince movie. I personally would have included different scenes and a slightly different tone, but it wasn’t my movie and the one they made was pretty damn good.
All that’s left is Deathly Hallows I & II.The Potterdämmerung is here y’all.I’m stocking up on canned goods and 1,084,170* words of magical goodness.
Production Sidenote: I have never believed Michael Gambon looked so muck like Ian McKellan as he did in this movie. When he was at the top of the Astronomy Tower at the end, I kept expecting him to bellow 'You shall not pass!' at Malfoy. He's a great actor and all, and this was one of his finer performances, but Michael Gambon will unfortunately always be a poor man's Ian McKellan for me. Sorry Mr. Gambon!
*Serious, that’s the total word count of the Harry Potter books.I cried when I found out my senior thesis was supposed to be 15,000 words.JK Rowling laughs in the face of lesser prose - mwa ha ha!
