26 August 2010

Dear small child in the store on Sunday,

OH MY GOD, what is wrong with you? Are your parents using you for some sort of experiment? I really don't understand it, your brother was the most nice, polite little boy anyone could ever hope for: all "please sir"s and "yes ma'am"s. He was quiet and contained and an angel.

So where did they go wrong with you? You screamed, you stole candy, you broke things, you ran around. I just don't get it. You were an adorable little munchkin who did everything in her power to cause a commotion in my store. My beautiful, clean, quiet store. Or it least, it was beautiful clean and quiet. before you and your hell-child ways invaded. I had to toss six items in the breakage box after you left because you had made them completely unsuitable for sales. I'd have insisted your parents pay for them but I frankly just wanted you gone.

Please never return again demon hell-child. I have warded the store against you - it will not go well for anyone if you poke your head in again.


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