21 August 2010

Tights are not pants

Today I was on a journey through the mall. A magical time when I was to buy new shoes and was magically coerced into buying two new pairs of shoes because of a sale - and were I to not participate in this "buy one get one" phenomenon I would in fact be losing money and that's all bad.

Anyway, as I am walking through the food court at the mall I see this woman. I would not ordinarily classify a woman as young as her (20 or so to my age) as woman, normally she would be a "girl" because I'm from the South and that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. I'm using the term "woman" to clarify that this is someone who should have known better.

This woman is wearing a long shirt, as one might expect to find paired inappropriately with a pair of opaque tights. Now, I'm sure I don't need to tell you that tights are not pants, nor should they be. However, this woman had forgone to even wear the tights.

When your top covering is that short, lower coverings are no longer optional. Nightclubs get a pass, but this is the mall, in broad daylight. You are appearing in a public place - wear clothes, it's the law.

I admit it, I stared a bit. But in that way where you're trying really really hard not to look like you're staring. As soon as she came alongside of me, and thus I was out of her field of vision I did a full body recoil while mouthing "Oh. My. God."

I look up and there is a woman, sitting with two friends who were not privy to the same view. She is staring after and making exactly the same face I am. As I come alongside her I say, "Same girl?"

"Oh my god yes." She affirmed with incredulity. We shared a laugh.

Moral: If you dress like a slutty hobo in public I'm not the only person who will be judging you for it.

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