I, on occasion, have way too much fun at work. The weekends can be very slow and once you have cleaned every shelf, vacuumed every floor and rearranged all the stock there's only so much you can do.
Rather than stand and stare off into space - or do homework - I have been known to make up games and stories about some of the stock we have. Sunday's offering was about Larry the Dinosaur which I was so happy with I am going to repost it here - slightly embellished.
It was a beautiful day down at the dinosaur watering hole, where the dinosaurs were discussing their day's plans...
"Did you see the spikes on Sherryl?" asked Vicky Velociraptor.
"Oh I know it, those osteoderms are so last... oh no," Tricia sighed, "great asteroids above, Larry's coming. Quick, don't make eye contact."
"Hey guys!" called Larry. "What's going on? Is it a party? It's a party isn't it? Can I come? I'll bring my karaoke machine!"
"Um, it's not a party Larry, in fact we were just..." Vicky let herself trail off as all the dinosaurs found somewhere else to be.
Poor Larry, left all alone. No one wants to be your friend.
Like many before him, Larry consoles himself with candy, but it only lessens the pain for a moment. And it leaves him with a terrible tummyache.
Feeling dejected and unloved, Larry makes his way across the shop floor. He climbs the tallest mountain in the land with every intention of ending it all.
Oh no Larry, don't do it. You have so much to live for!
But what is this? Larry isn't alone after all?
"What are you doing down there?"
Larry is all smiles, "I was going to expire from loneliness, but now I see I'm not alone at all!"
"Of course you're not, don't be silly. Why are you so lonely?"
"The other dinosaurs are mean to me. They don't want to be my friends."
"Really? That's not right." The two dinosaurs on the shelf exchanged a glance, "Come up here, I think we have an idea."
Their discussion is quick and interspersed with wild gestures.
"Miss Heroine, would you let us borrow something out of the storeroom?" asks Larry.
I think on this a moment, but the other dinosaurs were pretty mean to Larry and I have to admit, I was a little curious about what they were up to. "Sure guys."
They found what they needed right inside the door.
Pushing the box over to the counter, they investigated the contents of one of the rummage drawers.
[Alright y'all, I want you to listen to me here and heed me well. If I had known the full extent of Larry's plan I would have stopped him. He's a little guy and while he's got lots of pointy teeth, they are made of felt and I'm pretty sure I could have taken all three of them on in a fight.
But at no point did it occur to me that they were going to take things in the direction they did.
Okay? I just wanted to deny all culpability in what is about to happen. The following are the events as best I remember them.]
Can you see the little hellions? Hiding over the far edge of the dais? I didn't notice them at first either and it took me a moment to realize what I was seeing. By then it was too late.
"Um, Larry? I don't think this is exactly a good... Larry.... Larry!"
"Oh sweet heavens Larry, what have you done?
You squished them, I think they might have gone to plush animal heaven, what are you guys...
Quit celebrating. You are in trouble young dinosaur."
Oh yes, high fives all around. That's the spirit. Well done. [/sarcasm]
I have to admit, it's hard to be mad when they look so pleased with themselves.
Well, the moral of today's story was supposed to be about how it's okay to be different and that making friends is easy if you just try...
Yeah, that went off the rails pretty quick. Although I have to say...
In some ways, maybe it was about those things.