Wizard’s Third Rule

In the enduring trials of my modem, AT&T informs me that I am outside my one-year warranty. By one day. That’s right, my service plan (and warranty) started on July 21 2008 and my house was hit by lightening on July 22 frying the ethernet port on my modem. There may have been additional name-calling and general grousing towards the poor customer service representative at this point.

[I just want to note here that when I’m angry with customer service people, I spend at least half of my time apologizing for venting my frustration at the person on the other end. I know it’s not their fault. Unfortunately, they are the voice of the company. I have had one person, after I said for the fourth time ‘I know this isn’t your fault’, laugh and say ‘It’s alright, at least you’re not cussing or threatening me’. Do people actually do that?]

Once I got over how mad I was at the whole runaround I was getting from AT&T the solution to my problem became very easy. I went to the AT&T store and bought a new modem. I know what you’re thinking, but stick with me for my plan is manifold and varied. Once connected, my internet will be back for the next twenty something days. Then, well within my 30-day return policy, I will be returning it to the store from whence it came.

Suck it AT&T.

Update: I am back online. There was much jubilation.

Modem Madness

Dear AT&T,

I pay a handsome fee to use your DSL line. I bought a modem from you. I have had very few complaints in the year since. AT&T, your technical support sucks.

I admit, I know just enough about the inner workings of my computer to get myself in trouble. I had already ascertained that the problem was either in my modem itself or on your end. I have pinged the modem from my computer, all data packets received and returned. The problem, I repeat, is not on my end.

If you tell me to reboot my computer one more time I am going to scream. Yes, even more so than I screamed at your automated system when it told me the easiest way to fix my modem was to log online to the support center. Really? This is your best possible solution to the fact that I can’t get on the internet? Tell me to get on the internet? I’d love to get around that message but my repeated bellowing of ‘SKIP!’ was met with confusion on the part of your automated software.

I hate you so much right now. Why even ask for a callback number (in case we get disconnected) if you’re not going to call me back when you hang up on me. That’s right bitch, you hung up on me!

And no, I am not going to reboot again!

Right now, no joke, I am going to drive twenty minutes to my dad’s to post this online. I would rather use his internet and go without at home than call you again. I am moving out of this house in three weeks, I will find a way to survive without. I spend 4-6 hours on the internet a day, and I would rather go without than use your service.

That’s how much you suck.

Love,

The Heroine.