Look I get it, changing your profile pic is easy. It's a way to show support without actually having to go out and, you know, work at supporting something. I'm not saying it's bad, I'm saying that if you took the ten seconds out of your day to do that - think back and see where you took the next amount of time out to do something that might actually affect a change. This is a start, but please sit down for a moment and think about why you did it before you pat yourself on the back for being supportive.
There's really only two reasons for changing your profile pic to support a cause - because you want to raise awareness of an issue or because you want to let people know where you stand on an issue.
If the former, I doubt there's that many people who don't know that LGTB rights are an issue so who exactly are we trying to raise awareness in?
If the latter - if you're friends don't know where you stand on the defining civil rights issue of our generation - then you are doing something TERRIBLY wrong with your life and this is not the way to rectify that.
This kind of "activism" all too often takes the place of real people trying to make real changes happen. If you support LGBT rights, then write to your politicians, call them on the phone, organize or participate in a march in real life - because regardless of how much time we all spend online these communities are still seen as fringe by most people in positions of power.
Actively engage people in debate and stand so tall and proud on your principles that people can't help but acknowledge what you know is right.
This right here though? If this is all you're doing? Then this is just plain laziness.
So yeah, my two cents. There you have it.
(And as a sidenote, if you identify as an "ally" and are looking for a way to customize the pic, make it something "cool" or more indicative of you - then you are missing the point by such a wide margin I don't even know where to start.)
Showing posts with label god damn it. Show all posts
Showing posts with label god damn it. Show all posts
27 March 2013
26 May 2012
IT - The Movie
Why am I doing this?
Let the liveblog of IT - the movie - commence...
You know what, the scariest part of the book for me is the beginning with Georgie. The movie starts no different, as I'm typing there are some cheap thrills with blood leaking from Georgie's picture and the thing itself winking at him - but the moment where little adorable Georgie and the clown chat is undercut with such menace that it gives me shivers. I'm sitting here thinking that there's no way that Pennywise will get him because he's just too adorable for words. But of course that makes no difference in this world.
Adult Bill is a jackass, for the record. He's mean to Audra and I can totally see why he'll end up cheating on her down the line.
Adult Ben is about the weirdest flirt there is "Would you believe I used to be fat. Like butterball fat. Fat fat fat. You have no conception of how fat I was."
In the book, the whole thing with Henry Bowers seems natural - if evil. In the movie it feels very forced. They're being assholes because the script calls for it - not because they have any reason to (evil or otherwise).
Adult Beverly gets away with little fuss. Young Beverly also has some trouble and there's instant attraction between Bill & Bev. Suddenly, I'm remembering the 'Let's fuck for hope' scene in the book and I'm having a bad feeling.
Seth Green is cute as shit as Richie, although he looks at least five years older than everyone else. Young Stanley looks familiar, but IMDB says it's the only thing he's ever been in so....
The kid's families inability to see the weirdness works much better on film than in the book though.
Tim Curry is obviously having the time of his life being Pennywise which means I'm having trouble being scared by it. Or It I suppose. I know I'm supposed to be, but I'm not.
Well, I'm happy to see that movie kids have the good sense to bring flashlights into the sewers with them - instead of matches like a bunch of dumbasses.
OH! I just realized who Stanley looks like - Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It's not him, but
LOL Henry's hair turns white - from fright I can only assume. I totally lost my train of thought when that happened.
I want to also point out I keep pausing the movie to do other things because I'm more than a little bored. Why is this 3-hours long!?! I looked up some online reviews and most people are like, the book is over 1,000 pages of course the movie is three-hours.
But you know what? The book is about 800 pages too long too.
And I missed the climax of the kid's part while I was typing that. It was pretty anti-climatic, actually. Am I jaded by modern movies? The answer is yes.
This is the part in the book where Bev has sex with everyone - 12-year-old Bev I want to clarify. I don't want you to think this is in any way okay. Thankfully the movie is skipping that nonsense.
Oh no, adult Stan just killed himself. :( <-- sadface is sad
End part One. I guess. My DVD just stopped. Maybe that's all of the movie I get.
--------
So there is a Part Two.
Ha, I just noticed that the scene selection thing - which is a balloon - goes to a blood splatter when you select something.
Fuck you Tim Curry, you're starting to actually freak me out more than a little. Stop that shit.
*cough* Anyways...
Richie drives into town and is much more perturbed by the Paramount having closed down than the fact that it got renamed from the Aladdin between the book and movie.
Should I be laughing at Pennywise's antics in the library? Probably not, but damn it Tim Curry, quit having such a good time!
I read somewhere that that's Tim Curry's actual hair, dyed one can only assume. If it's not, nobody disillusion me of this pleasethanks.
Why and how are we still having flashbacks? We already saw them defeat the monster in the first part.
It is really a 50/50 thing for me. Either I'm entertained by Tim Curry and how awesome he is - or he's scaring the crap out of me. No middle ground of 'Oh look, it's Tim Curry.'
FISGZSKHJA;BFDKLN WHY IS NICE OLD MAN SPEAKING WITH PENNYWISE VOICE!?! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
And they're all meeting up at the Chinese restaurant but they don't know that Stanley is dead.
:( <-- sadface
Ominous fortune cookies are ominous. And... there they go. Ew ew ew ew. Never eating a fortune cookie again. Wait, is the turtle in the movie? Oh please oh please, I have been so good this year. {Note from the future: there's no turtle in this movie.}
I will never look at balloons the same way again and talking heads are freaky even without going on in the Pennywise voice.
Awwww, Henry Bowers grew into everyone's favorite uncle. The slightly crazy one who rents R movies for you and your friends. I'm not sure I can be scared of this guy. And FUCK ALL THIS TALKING IN PENNYWISE VOICE SHIT. NO MORE. I say. NO MORE.
HAHAHAHAHA Dog in a clown costume! Dog in a clown costume! HAHAHAHA. Thanks for that movie.
So here's a side story, when I was about eleven or twelve I saw the Disney version of The Three Musketeers on video*. My best friend and I instantly fell in love with the whole thing and since then I can say, with no exaggeration, I've seen it well over 100 times. I know the Sting/Bryan Adams/ Rod Stewart song pretty much by heart. [Let's make it all for one/ and all for love!] This is the version with all the eye-candy - Keifer Sutherland, a young (ie not [very] drug-addled) Charlie Sheen, a fairly slim Oliver Platt, Chris O'Donnell and a vicious and awesome Tim Curry as the villain. Now, I know Tim Curry is not exactly an attractive man. You know this too, even if you are attracted to him. He objectively looks evil. But for some reason he was probably my first villain crush. If you don't count Hexxus in Fern Gully who, in his first song, caused me to spontaneously enter puberty. Is it coincidence he was also voiced by Tim Curry? I think not.
What I'm trying to say here is I have a sort oflove/lust/hate relationship with Tim Curry. He equal parts freaks me out and turns me on. So when, in the course of this movie, Pennywise starts growling "Don't you want it?" over and over... I kind of got a hot and bothered until I actually looked up at the TV and saw that giant clown face with glowing eyes and pointy teeth. My future sexual fantasies are going to be fucking weird.
* For those of you born after 1990, videos were the things that came before DVDs and they were a giant pain in the ass. You couldn't just skip to parts you liked, but had to wait while the VCR mechanically spooled the tape in the direction you indicated. There were no bonus features except occasionally previews for upcoming movies which if you tried to skip you ran the risk of missing the first part of the movie too. They sucked. People of the past should be ashamed of themselves.
Moving on!
Why is Mike Hanlon staying at the hotel? Did I miss the part where this was explained? Wait! Henry Bowers uses sneak attack! It is super effective!
Is Bev going to screw Ben instead of Bill? Okay, I can get behind that. So can he apparently.
Ba-dump-cha! Thank you, I'm here all week.
WHAT THE HOLY FUCK THAT WAS PENNYWISE?!? Ben does not harbor the same conflicting desires for Pennywise as I do it seems. That's probably for the best.
And there goes Henry. :( <-- sadface is getting too much use
"Why is It so mean?!" HAHAHAHA Bev. Really? In the cuddle with Ben she starts saying the same thing Pennywise did in his cuddle with Ben (Ben gets all the cuddles). And Ben freaks the fuck out. Rightfully so. Bill gets no action in this movie.
Wait, this is new. Ten years ago Mike went to find It. It gave him grey hair. I'm not sure what this new scene is accomplishing.
I zoned out for a bit, I think they're going after It. Yep, there they go. With flashlights again. Good boys. And Bev. Who's been pretty useless I must say.
ACK. Georgie's boat is creepy, and why are you standing over a drain? You know that's how It comes. Bill taunts It while continuing to stand over the drain because he is an IDIOT.
Pennywise shows up to taunt them, and I have a sneaking feeling this might be the last time we see him as the book ends with a giant spider, not the clown. Also a turtle. Please let there be a turtle.
Awww, Eddie fesses up to not being married (which he is in the book) and to being a virgin - which in the book Bev relieves him of. So I'm super confused right now. Also, Eddie dies doesn't he? This is all kinds of sad. {Note from the future: And pointless.)
Matte-painting of spiderwebs is interesting. Giant 80s effect spider is meh. Close-ups are better.
Bill gets hypnotized, Ben runs in to help and gets hypnotized. Richie makes the losers 0 for 3. I'm not sure where Bev went but Eddie comes to the rescue with his inhaler. Well, sort of. The spider kind of mostly starts eating him. But Bev shoots it. Not killing it. It runs away so they give chase (leaving a [dead?] Eddie behind).
Then they attack it with their bare hands and it's HILARIOUS. They pull out its heart and it dies. Yes, I'm not capitalizing it in this case because the spider is not It. Whatevs.
But they DO carry Eddie out of the sewers which is nice. It bugged me in the book that they left him down there.
Wait, the town didn't collapse on itself? That's bullshit. The idea that Derry is part of It was intrinsic to the book. Leaving that out makes the whole thing just, meaner, somehow. It means that the adults turned away because they were genuinely bad, that Henry Bowers was literally a psycho, that all of the murders remain mostly uninvestigated because the police are douches. This is not good cricket, movie version of book. Not good cricket at all.
But we do get the bicycle ride of hilarity which magically heals his wife for no discernible reason. Which means It has left me giggling rather than scared.
So that's nice.
WHY IS PENNYWISE LAUGHING AT THE END OF MY MOVIE? WHY ARE WE ENDING ON CIRCUS MUSIC? NOTHING IS BEAUTIFUL AND EVERYTHING HURTS.
I'm going to watch some My Little Pony now. Fuck this shit.
-------
My reading of It...
IT Part One
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission
IT Part Two (redux)
IT Part Three
IT Part Four
IT Part Five
Let the liveblog of IT - the movie - commence...
You know what, the scariest part of the book for me is the beginning with Georgie. The movie starts no different, as I'm typing there are some cheap thrills with blood leaking from Georgie's picture and the thing itself winking at him - but the moment where little adorable Georgie and the clown chat is undercut with such menace that it gives me shivers. I'm sitting here thinking that there's no way that Pennywise will get him because he's just too adorable for words. But of course that makes no difference in this world.
Adult Bill is a jackass, for the record. He's mean to Audra and I can totally see why he'll end up cheating on her down the line.
Adult Ben is about the weirdest flirt there is "Would you believe I used to be fat. Like butterball fat. Fat fat fat. You have no conception of how fat I was."
In the book, the whole thing with Henry Bowers seems natural - if evil. In the movie it feels very forced. They're being assholes because the script calls for it - not because they have any reason to (evil or otherwise).
Adult Beverly gets away with little fuss. Young Beverly also has some trouble and there's instant attraction between Bill & Bev. Suddenly, I'm remembering the 'Let's fuck for hope' scene in the book and I'm having a bad feeling.
Seth Green is cute as shit as Richie, although he looks at least five years older than everyone else. Young Stanley looks familiar, but IMDB says it's the only thing he's ever been in so....
The kid's families inability to see the weirdness works much better on film than in the book though.
Tim Curry is obviously having the time of his life being Pennywise which means I'm having trouble being scared by it. Or It I suppose. I know I'm supposed to be, but I'm not.
Well, I'm happy to see that movie kids have the good sense to bring flashlights into the sewers with them - instead of matches like a bunch of dumbasses.
OH! I just realized who Stanley looks like - Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It's not him, but
LOL Henry's hair turns white - from fright I can only assume. I totally lost my train of thought when that happened.
I want to also point out I keep pausing the movie to do other things because I'm more than a little bored. Why is this 3-hours long!?! I looked up some online reviews and most people are like, the book is over 1,000 pages of course the movie is three-hours.
But you know what? The book is about 800 pages too long too.
And I missed the climax of the kid's part while I was typing that. It was pretty anti-climatic, actually. Am I jaded by modern movies? The answer is yes.
This is the part in the book where Bev has sex with everyone - 12-year-old Bev I want to clarify. I don't want you to think this is in any way okay. Thankfully the movie is skipping that nonsense.
Oh no, adult Stan just killed himself. :( <-- sadface is sad
End part One. I guess. My DVD just stopped. Maybe that's all of the movie I get.
--------
So there is a Part Two.
Ha, I just noticed that the scene selection thing - which is a balloon - goes to a blood splatter when you select something.
Fuck you Tim Curry, you're starting to actually freak me out more than a little. Stop that shit.
*cough* Anyways...
Richie drives into town and is much more perturbed by the Paramount having closed down than the fact that it got renamed from the Aladdin between the book and movie.
Should I be laughing at Pennywise's antics in the library? Probably not, but damn it Tim Curry, quit having such a good time!
I read somewhere that that's Tim Curry's actual hair, dyed one can only assume. If it's not, nobody disillusion me of this pleasethanks.
Why and how are we still having flashbacks? We already saw them defeat the monster in the first part.
It is really a 50/50 thing for me. Either I'm entertained by Tim Curry and how awesome he is - or he's scaring the crap out of me. No middle ground of 'Oh look, it's Tim Curry.'
FISGZSKHJA;BFDKLN WHY IS NICE OLD MAN SPEAKING WITH PENNYWISE VOICE!?! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
And they're all meeting up at the Chinese restaurant but they don't know that Stanley is dead.
:( <-- sadface
Ominous fortune cookies are ominous. And... there they go. Ew ew ew ew. Never eating a fortune cookie again. Wait, is the turtle in the movie? Oh please oh please, I have been so good this year. {Note from the future: there's no turtle in this movie.}
I will never look at balloons the same way again and talking heads are freaky even without going on in the Pennywise voice.
Awwww, Henry Bowers grew into everyone's favorite uncle. The slightly crazy one who rents R movies for you and your friends. I'm not sure I can be scared of this guy. And FUCK ALL THIS TALKING IN PENNYWISE VOICE SHIT. NO MORE. I say. NO MORE.
HAHAHAHAHA Dog in a clown costume! Dog in a clown costume! HAHAHAHA. Thanks for that movie.
So here's a side story, when I was about eleven or twelve I saw the Disney version of The Three Musketeers on video*. My best friend and I instantly fell in love with the whole thing and since then I can say, with no exaggeration, I've seen it well over 100 times. I know the Sting/Bryan Adams/ Rod Stewart song pretty much by heart. [Let's make it all for one/ and all for love!] This is the version with all the eye-candy - Keifer Sutherland, a young (ie not [very] drug-addled) Charlie Sheen, a fairly slim Oliver Platt, Chris O'Donnell and a vicious and awesome Tim Curry as the villain. Now, I know Tim Curry is not exactly an attractive man. You know this too, even if you are attracted to him. He objectively looks evil. But for some reason he was probably my first villain crush. If you don't count Hexxus in Fern Gully who, in his first song, caused me to spontaneously enter puberty. Is it coincidence he was also voiced by Tim Curry? I think not.
What I'm trying to say here is I have a sort of
* For those of you born after 1990, videos were the things that came before DVDs and they were a giant pain in the ass. You couldn't just skip to parts you liked, but had to wait while the VCR mechanically spooled the tape in the direction you indicated. There were no bonus features except occasionally previews for upcoming movies which if you tried to skip you ran the risk of missing the first part of the movie too. They sucked. People of the past should be ashamed of themselves.
Moving on!
Why is Mike Hanlon staying at the hotel? Did I miss the part where this was explained? Wait! Henry Bowers uses sneak attack! It is super effective!
Is Bev going to screw Ben instead of Bill? Okay, I can get behind that. So can he apparently.
Ba-dump-cha! Thank you, I'm here all week.
WHAT THE HOLY FUCK THAT WAS PENNYWISE?!? Ben does not harbor the same conflicting desires for Pennywise as I do it seems. That's probably for the best.
And there goes Henry. :( <-- sadface is getting too much use
"Why is It so mean?!" HAHAHAHA Bev. Really? In the cuddle with Ben she starts saying the same thing Pennywise did in his cuddle with Ben (Ben gets all the cuddles). And Ben freaks the fuck out. Rightfully so. Bill gets no action in this movie.
Wait, this is new. Ten years ago Mike went to find It. It gave him grey hair. I'm not sure what this new scene is accomplishing.
I zoned out for a bit, I think they're going after It. Yep, there they go. With flashlights again. Good boys. And Bev. Who's been pretty useless I must say.
ACK. Georgie's boat is creepy, and why are you standing over a drain? You know that's how It comes. Bill taunts It while continuing to stand over the drain because he is an IDIOT.
Pennywise shows up to taunt them, and I have a sneaking feeling this might be the last time we see him as the book ends with a giant spider, not the clown. Also a turtle. Please let there be a turtle.
Awww, Eddie fesses up to not being married (which he is in the book) and to being a virgin - which in the book Bev relieves him of. So I'm super confused right now. Also, Eddie dies doesn't he? This is all kinds of sad. {Note from the future: And pointless.)
Matte-painting of spiderwebs is interesting. Giant 80s effect spider is meh. Close-ups are better.
Bill gets hypnotized, Ben runs in to help and gets hypnotized. Richie makes the losers 0 for 3. I'm not sure where Bev went but Eddie comes to the rescue with his inhaler. Well, sort of. The spider kind of mostly starts eating him. But Bev shoots it. Not killing it. It runs away so they give chase (leaving a [dead?] Eddie behind).
Then they attack it with their bare hands and it's HILARIOUS. They pull out its heart and it dies. Yes, I'm not capitalizing it in this case because the spider is not It. Whatevs.
But they DO carry Eddie out of the sewers which is nice. It bugged me in the book that they left him down there.
Wait, the town didn't collapse on itself? That's bullshit. The idea that Derry is part of It was intrinsic to the book. Leaving that out makes the whole thing just, meaner, somehow. It means that the adults turned away because they were genuinely bad, that Henry Bowers was literally a psycho, that all of the murders remain mostly uninvestigated because the police are douches. This is not good cricket, movie version of book. Not good cricket at all.
But we do get the bicycle ride of hilarity which magically heals his wife for no discernible reason. Which means It has left me giggling rather than scared.
So that's nice.
WHY IS PENNYWISE LAUGHING AT THE END OF MY MOVIE? WHY ARE WE ENDING ON CIRCUS MUSIC? NOTHING IS BEAUTIFUL AND EVERYTHING HURTS.
I'm going to watch some My Little Pony now. Fuck this shit.
-------
My reading of It...
IT Part One
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission
IT Part Two (redux)
IT Part Three
IT Part Four
IT Part Five
18 May 2012
IT - Part Five
IT Part One
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission
IT Part Two (redux)
IT Part Three
IT Part Four
9:09pm - Home
Chapter 19
I like this move into new storytelling, with past and present bleeding into each other. It's interesting and I had been wondering how King was going to deal with two separate climaxes.
A lot happens here, in all timelines. Mike gets attacked and I'm impressed and overjoyed with how calmly he evades Henry. Bill and Bev cheat on their respective spouses - not that I blame Bev but for fuck's sake Bill. And Eddie gets attacked by and seriously injures Henry.
In the past, Bev is chased by her insane father. The hideaway if discovered. Bill leads everyone into the Barrens then into the tunnels because yeah that's a good idea. Who decided to make this kid leader. I like Ben's idea of 'Get the Fuck out of Derry' much better.
And why won't Henry just die already in either time?
----------
3:36pm - Home
Chapter 20
I don't like the fact that the only solid female character in this book is dumb as a brick, but I supposed I accept it. Only because by far the most sensible person is the only black character so I feel the good washes out the bad (and Why? you ask, Do I feel that a black person being sensible is not perfectly normal? Because King is a git who plays on the stereotypes, not to deconstruct them but in a way that says 'I'm aware of them and I don't give a fuck'.)
Into the tunnels they go, again, where Bev's husband has Bill's wife - but they only that Bill's wife is down there. And they don't have Stan or Mike (the sensible one! Why did it have to be you Mike?!) with them so they're chances of success are somewhere between slim and none but they go anyway with no memory of how they got out the last time.
Dumbasses.
----------
4:17pm - Home
Chapter 21
It gets It's own subchapter, It's own POV and It's scared and there's a Turtle I guess and the turtle and the It have been around forever because, yeah, that make sense I guess.
The power of imagination is enough to injure It, and kill It because it takes on the weaknesses of Its form which is a sucky asterisk on that power (although I'm not complaining in this case, just an overall observation).
And both groups end up in the sewers with It, in the present Bill confronts a giant spider and It's pregnant and OMG how did this not occur to me? There is nothing about this that is good and right and okay and I just.... WHAT?!
----------
4:47pm - Home
Chapter 22
Bill manages to seriously injure It as a child and even thought the turtle (wait, what?) warns him to finish the job his friends convince him to run away.
(A turtle? Really?)
In the present, Bill is overconfident and It gets the better of him, but Richie, of all people, steps in and takes over. Eddie gets an arm eaten off (how circular) and Ben takes on the task of killing all of the baby Its (where did these babies even come from, is there a male It? It says It's alone....) while Bill and Richie chase after to finish the job.
In 1958, the kids lose hope while running away and Bev fucks a sense of hope back into them and for the love of god I wish I was making that up.
----------
5:12pm - Home
Chapter 23
Bill rips It's heart apart and he, Richie, Bev and Ben escape - leaving Eddie behind in a move I find unnerving, like maybe one of the spiders is going to end up using him as food and grow up big and strong and make mommy proud.
It is so intrinsically tied to the town of Derry that Its death causes the city to partially collapse in on itself.
But at least It's dead.... although there is one final Interlude left and I don't trust this at all.
----------
5:21pm - Home
Fifth Interlude
They're all forgetting each other and on the one hand, I'm sad that they're all friends and won't remember. But on the other, I'm freakishly happy that they won't have to live with this forever.
Although... they all seem to take it as a good sign that they're all forgetting what happened. But what if it's It actually doing a full cleanup - and not just missing Mike? The people leaving, not wanting to come to Derry seem to undermine this... but I don't trust anything anymore.
----------
5:29pm - Home
Epilogue
Wait..... dafuq just happened?
----------
Review of It, the movie.
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission
IT Part Two (redux)
IT Part Three
IT Part Four
9:09pm - Home
Chapter 19
I like this move into new storytelling, with past and present bleeding into each other. It's interesting and I had been wondering how King was going to deal with two separate climaxes.
A lot happens here, in all timelines. Mike gets attacked and I'm impressed and overjoyed with how calmly he evades Henry. Bill and Bev cheat on their respective spouses - not that I blame Bev but for fuck's sake Bill. And Eddie gets attacked by and seriously injures Henry.
In the past, Bev is chased by her insane father. The hideaway if discovered. Bill leads everyone into the Barrens then into the tunnels because yeah that's a good idea. Who decided to make this kid leader. I like Ben's idea of 'Get the Fuck out of Derry' much better.
And why won't Henry just die already in either time?
----------
3:36pm - Home
Chapter 20
I don't like the fact that the only solid female character in this book is dumb as a brick, but I supposed I accept it. Only because by far the most sensible person is the only black character so I feel the good washes out the bad (and Why? you ask, Do I feel that a black person being sensible is not perfectly normal? Because King is a git who plays on the stereotypes, not to deconstruct them but in a way that says 'I'm aware of them and I don't give a fuck'.)
Into the tunnels they go, again, where Bev's husband has Bill's wife - but they only that Bill's wife is down there. And they don't have Stan or Mike (the sensible one! Why did it have to be you Mike?!) with them so they're chances of success are somewhere between slim and none but they go anyway with no memory of how they got out the last time.
Dumbasses.
----------
4:17pm - Home
Chapter 21
It gets It's own subchapter, It's own POV and It's scared and there's a Turtle I guess and the turtle and the It have been around forever because, yeah, that make sense I guess.
The power of imagination is enough to injure It, and kill It because it takes on the weaknesses of Its form which is a sucky asterisk on that power (although I'm not complaining in this case, just an overall observation).
And both groups end up in the sewers with It, in the present Bill confronts a giant spider and It's pregnant and OMG how did this not occur to me? There is nothing about this that is good and right and okay and I just.... WHAT?!
----------
4:47pm - Home
Chapter 22
Bill manages to seriously injure It as a child and even thought the turtle (wait, what?) warns him to finish the job his friends convince him to run away.
(A turtle? Really?)
In the present, Bill is overconfident and It gets the better of him, but Richie, of all people, steps in and takes over. Eddie gets an arm eaten off (how circular) and Ben takes on the task of killing all of the baby Its (where did these babies even come from, is there a male It? It says It's alone....) while Bill and Richie chase after to finish the job.
In 1958, the kids lose hope while running away and Bev fucks a sense of hope back into them and for the love of god I wish I was making that up.
----------
5:12pm - Home
Chapter 23
Bill rips It's heart apart and he, Richie, Bev and Ben escape - leaving Eddie behind in a move I find unnerving, like maybe one of the spiders is going to end up using him as food and grow up big and strong and make mommy proud.
It is so intrinsically tied to the town of Derry that Its death causes the city to partially collapse in on itself.
But at least It's dead.... although there is one final Interlude left and I don't trust this at all.
----------
5:21pm - Home
Fifth Interlude
They're all forgetting each other and on the one hand, I'm sad that they're all friends and won't remember. But on the other, I'm freakishly happy that they won't have to live with this forever.
Although... they all seem to take it as a good sign that they're all forgetting what happened. But what if it's It actually doing a full cleanup - and not just missing Mike? The people leaving, not wanting to come to Derry seem to undermine this... but I don't trust anything anymore.
----------
5:29pm - Home
Epilogue
Wait..... dafuq just happened?
----------
Review of It, the movie.
15 May 2012
IT - Part Four
IT Part One
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission
IT Part Two (redux)
IT Part Three
6:30pm - Home
Chapter 13
I almost never use the work 'epic' to describe something, but the rock fight between the six (seven including Mike) kids and the five bullies is epic. Does Bill actually know it is going to happen? Is it intuition, or the 'magic' that they keep talking about?
And something is wrong with that boy Henry. If nothing else, this chapter has made that abundantly clear.
Anyway, it seems like we have our Magnificent Seven together at last.
---------
7:58pm - Home
Chapter 14
I am enjoying that King is writing the group (dare I call them heroes?) as being both accepting of all that they remember, no one calls bullshit or 'we were just kids playing games' while at the same time you can tell that they're struggling to fit in their childhood experiences with what they 'know' as adults.
I'm not sure the logic of building their own lair underground, especially since they all know that that's where the monster has been hiding out. But they seem to be operating on instinct more than logic so I'll allow it.
When the photos come to life (Again! I hate that. More than clowns) and Pennywise ends up pressed to the plastic it's both unnerving and confusing. There is a sense that that's all that's holding him back - had the plastic not been there he'd have had them. But I have a hard time believing something so mundane could hold him back either.
Confusion, I has it.
---------
8:22pm - Home
Chapter 15
It came from outer space? And the kids do a smoke ritual that should have killed them all (wouldn't it have been funny if the monster had set all that up so they committed suicide?) but doesn't and it turns out that the monster came from... somewhere else. I get it's not from space, but from some parallel - but still.
Stupid.
---------
8:55pm - Home
Chapter 16
Mr King, I don't want any of your meta bullshit. 'If I was in a book it would be like this but it's not', I see what you did there and again, maybe because it's now such a trope, it's stupid and bugs me and whatever.
I'm trying to think if there was a confirmed sighting of the monster in here, not just Eddie's hallucination which were probably real but I'm not sure. The real villain here is Henry Bowers, and I do like of King sets up this monster, but then shows how kids are equally cruel. (Although I do think Henry is being pushed a great deal and not necessarily responsible for his actions.)
But the kids, especially Eddie, standing up to the grown-ups - who are as a whole realizing they can't control these kids - is fantastic.
---------
7:20pm - Home
Chapter 17
I'm not... what is King's obsession with male genitalia? I mean, yes, it exists, but I read 3-5 books a week on average and I have never seen this much dick across an entire six months.
The boys lighting their farts on fire, Beverly wondering about their 'things' - some light homosexuality. Although given what we learn about Patrick I find that sociopath who killed his baby brother and the kid who willingly jerked off a friend to be a dichotomy. And not in a 'well-rounded character' way, but in a 'what the hell are you doing Mr King?' way.
I think I'm supposed to feel okay that the monster kills Patricj because he's obviously a screwed up kid - but we only really just met him so I'm pretty meh about the whole matter.
I also just realized that King is pretty awful at sticking the "show don't tell" front. He flat out calls some characters crazy (and yes, they ahve crazy actions to back it up) but overall I feel like I've been told flat-out how I'm supposed to feel about many of these characters.
Anyway, the monster threatens them - they all hug... I think I missed how Beverly injured it. She does shoot one of the flying leeches (shoots it magically? Maybe?) but both her and Patrick smashed a bunch without it seeming to affect anything.
---------
7:53pm - Home
Chapter 18
So I thought this would be the final of the kids chapters, the confrontation, Beverly injures the monster (oh, now she does it, not last chapter... okay then) but it ends on a .... not a cliffhangar but a 'more to come'.
I suppose, if I'd thought about it more, I'd've realized that Victor was still alive - that Henery had not pursued team into the darkness that would drive him fully crazy.
But man, supernatural help or not, those kids have chutzpah to go into that house with nothing more than a slingshot. A house Ben at least was too fat to escape from if it all went bad. Jesus kid, that would have been my cue to GTFO.
---------
8:09pm - Home
Fourth Interlude
So..... I'm still pretty confused as to how this all works but I think I'm going to stay that way. How does It make adults go on killing sprees? What in the huh now?
----------
Continue?
IT Part Five
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission
IT Part Two (redux)
IT Part Three
6:30pm - Home
Chapter 13
I almost never use the work 'epic' to describe something, but the rock fight between the six (seven including Mike) kids and the five bullies is epic. Does Bill actually know it is going to happen? Is it intuition, or the 'magic' that they keep talking about?
And something is wrong with that boy Henry. If nothing else, this chapter has made that abundantly clear.
Anyway, it seems like we have our Magnificent Seven together at last.
---------
7:58pm - Home
Chapter 14
I am enjoying that King is writing the group (dare I call them heroes?) as being both accepting of all that they remember, no one calls bullshit or 'we were just kids playing games' while at the same time you can tell that they're struggling to fit in their childhood experiences with what they 'know' as adults.
I'm not sure the logic of building their own lair underground, especially since they all know that that's where the monster has been hiding out. But they seem to be operating on instinct more than logic so I'll allow it.
When the photos come to life (Again! I hate that. More than clowns) and Pennywise ends up pressed to the plastic it's both unnerving and confusing. There is a sense that that's all that's holding him back - had the plastic not been there he'd have had them. But I have a hard time believing something so mundane could hold him back either.
Confusion, I has it.
---------
8:22pm - Home
Chapter 15
It came from outer space? And the kids do a smoke ritual that should have killed them all (wouldn't it have been funny if the monster had set all that up so they committed suicide?) but doesn't and it turns out that the monster came from... somewhere else. I get it's not from space, but from some parallel - but still.
Stupid.
---------
8:55pm - Home
Chapter 16
Mr King, I don't want any of your meta bullshit. 'If I was in a book it would be like this but it's not', I see what you did there and again, maybe because it's now such a trope, it's stupid and bugs me and whatever.
I'm trying to think if there was a confirmed sighting of the monster in here, not just Eddie's hallucination which were probably real but I'm not sure. The real villain here is Henry Bowers, and I do like of King sets up this monster, but then shows how kids are equally cruel. (Although I do think Henry is being pushed a great deal and not necessarily responsible for his actions.)
But the kids, especially Eddie, standing up to the grown-ups - who are as a whole realizing they can't control these kids - is fantastic.
---------
7:20pm - Home
Chapter 17
I'm not... what is King's obsession with male genitalia? I mean, yes, it exists, but I read 3-5 books a week on average and I have never seen this much dick across an entire six months.
The boys lighting their farts on fire, Beverly wondering about their 'things' - some light homosexuality. Although given what we learn about Patrick I find that sociopath who killed his baby brother and the kid who willingly jerked off a friend to be a dichotomy. And not in a 'well-rounded character' way, but in a 'what the hell are you doing Mr King?' way.
I think I'm supposed to feel okay that the monster kills Patricj because he's obviously a screwed up kid - but we only really just met him so I'm pretty meh about the whole matter.
I also just realized that King is pretty awful at sticking the "show don't tell" front. He flat out calls some characters crazy (and yes, they ahve crazy actions to back it up) but overall I feel like I've been told flat-out how I'm supposed to feel about many of these characters.
Anyway, the monster threatens them - they all hug... I think I missed how Beverly injured it. She does shoot one of the flying leeches (shoots it magically? Maybe?) but both her and Patrick smashed a bunch without it seeming to affect anything.
---------
7:53pm - Home
Chapter 18
So I thought this would be the final of the kids chapters, the confrontation, Beverly injures the monster (oh, now she does it, not last chapter... okay then) but it ends on a .... not a cliffhangar but a 'more to come'.
I suppose, if I'd thought about it more, I'd've realized that Victor was still alive - that Henery had not pursued team into the darkness that would drive him fully crazy.
But man, supernatural help or not, those kids have chutzpah to go into that house with nothing more than a slingshot. A house Ben at least was too fat to escape from if it all went bad. Jesus kid, that would have been my cue to GTFO.
---------
8:09pm - Home
Fourth Interlude
So..... I'm still pretty confused as to how this all works but I think I'm going to stay that way. How does It make adults go on killing sprees? What in the huh now?
----------
Continue?
IT Part Five
13 May 2012
IT - Part Three
IT Part One
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission
IT Part Two (redux)
4:39pm - Home
Chapter 10
So the chapter opens and everyone makes their way into town. They sit and have lunch. The bring each other up to speed and reminisce. It has the feel of a reunion which it is.
Mike, the pure voice of reason who I just love, the lighthouse keeper who saw the storm coming and brought them all back, Mike goes through the details and I wonder just how much he remembers. It's obvious they don't all remember everything - and time and distance from Derry seems to pay into it.
So they talk and discuss the things they could never tell anyone else because it would make them sound crazy and they all, as one, decide to do the one thing they don't think they can. To kill It.
And just when I think this chapter is going to close on them walking out into the afternoon, perhaps with a "And only 6 of them showed at the library that evening" the whole things becomes macabre. Bugs crawl out, blood gushes, an eyeball.... that only they can see.
Does having children mean that you can't see the horrors of Derry?
I do know I will not be eating a fortune cookie in the near future.
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6:06pm - Home
Chapter 11
Holy shit.
Ben goes to the library where the clown taunts him from the upper decks.
Eddie goes to the abandoned fields where an entire baseball team of creepy accosts him.
Beverly goes to her old home where an old lady turns into every evil in the world (and it's a sign of how little I know horror tropes that it took me ages to figure out something wasn't right with her).
Richie gets attacked by a statue... again.
And Bill.... Bill gets his bike back? I don't trust this shit y'all. I don't trust it one bit. That bike is going to try to kill them, mark my words.
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6:36pm - Home
Chapter 12
Well that was... unexpected.
The monster seems capable of pretty much anything, so why does it need Henry (evil little bully Henry) around to do its dirty work? Why break him out of the insane asylum?
And Tom, you sick fuck, go home. You are going to die in the sewers or Derry and I am going to enjoy it. And for all of my talk about being uncomfortable being party to this sadisitc voyeurism I will enjoy watching you die.
Audra..... I hope you know what you're doing. Maybe you're the stand-in for Stanley?
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6:50pm - Home
Third Interlude
I'm... I'm a little nervous. With the shootout described in such detail, with the monster there carefully orchestrating it... what chance do our protagonists possibly have? Which goes back to my earlier realization that this book doesn't necessarily have a happy ending.
All books have happy endings, at least the ones I read. Your favorite character might die, there will be sacrifices, but in the end evil will be defeated and people will look into a brighter future.
I'm really starting to get a bone-deep depression that this book will not end that way at all.
----------
Continue?
IT Part Four
IT Part Five
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission
IT Part Two (redux)
4:39pm - Home
Chapter 10
So the chapter opens and everyone makes their way into town. They sit and have lunch. The bring each other up to speed and reminisce. It has the feel of a reunion which it is.
Mike, the pure voice of reason who I just love, the lighthouse keeper who saw the storm coming and brought them all back, Mike goes through the details and I wonder just how much he remembers. It's obvious they don't all remember everything - and time and distance from Derry seems to pay into it.
So they talk and discuss the things they could never tell anyone else because it would make them sound crazy and they all, as one, decide to do the one thing they don't think they can. To kill It.
And just when I think this chapter is going to close on them walking out into the afternoon, perhaps with a "And only 6 of them showed at the library that evening" the whole things becomes macabre. Bugs crawl out, blood gushes, an eyeball.... that only they can see.
Does having children mean that you can't see the horrors of Derry?
I do know I will not be eating a fortune cookie in the near future.
----------
6:06pm - Home
Chapter 11
Holy shit.
Ben goes to the library where the clown taunts him from the upper decks.
Eddie goes to the abandoned fields where an entire baseball team of creepy accosts him.
Beverly goes to her old home where an old lady turns into every evil in the world (and it's a sign of how little I know horror tropes that it took me ages to figure out something wasn't right with her).
Richie gets attacked by a statue... again.
And Bill.... Bill gets his bike back? I don't trust this shit y'all. I don't trust it one bit. That bike is going to try to kill them, mark my words.
----------
6:36pm - Home
Chapter 12
Well that was... unexpected.
The monster seems capable of pretty much anything, so why does it need Henry (evil little bully Henry) around to do its dirty work? Why break him out of the insane asylum?
And Tom, you sick fuck, go home. You are going to die in the sewers or Derry and I am going to enjoy it. And for all of my talk about being uncomfortable being party to this sadisitc voyeurism I will enjoy watching you die.
Audra..... I hope you know what you're doing. Maybe you're the stand-in for Stanley?
----------
6:50pm - Home
Third Interlude
I'm... I'm a little nervous. With the shootout described in such detail, with the monster there carefully orchestrating it... what chance do our protagonists possibly have? Which goes back to my earlier realization that this book doesn't necessarily have a happy ending.
All books have happy endings, at least the ones I read. Your favorite character might die, there will be sacrifices, but in the end evil will be defeated and people will look into a brighter future.
I'm really starting to get a bone-deep depression that this book will not end that way at all.
----------
Continue?
IT Part Four
IT Part Five
IT - Part Two (redux)
IT Part One
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission
10:20am - Work
Chapter 7
Well, at least these people are talking to each other now. I know, it's a horrible thing to say out loud something you know sounds crazy, to throw yourself out there as being too imaginative and odd - but for Christ's sake kids something is trying to kill you.
Speak the damn hell up.
Anyway, whatever. Eddie is attacked by a leper, pretty sure a legit one the first time who keeps offering him a blowjob. The second time it's the monster pretending to be a leper (there's a thought, does the monster pretend to be x, y or z - or does it actually become them?) who chases Eddie through some bushes.
And then, after damming up the river the boys all sit down and have a natter and three of them fess up to having been attacked by the monster in some capacity. Although compared to Ben and Eddie's stories, Bill's "bleeding picture" bit seems a let down. Except that it took place in his home which I only just realized and we will never be safe again.
----------
1:21pm - Home
Chapter 8
Yes, a lot of encounters have happened in this book, but this is the first time it's felt like any of these kids were in real danger.
Let's back up, shall we?
Richie is my least favorite of the group by far - he was that kid I always disliked because he was annoying, and always had to be the center of attention. Despite that, this is one of my favorite chapters.
One, the fact that whatever is happening in Derry is pervasive floats even more to the surface as Bill and Richie look at Georgie's photo album again. Seeing themselves being lured to their deaths by the clown - the Bill injuring himself as he reaches through the photo is deeply unsettling.
Two, the further treatment of the bullies, and Ben and Richie and Bev (Bev, where have you been?) not only sticking up for themselves but escaping made me want to stand up and cheer.
Then, three, the boys decide to go investigate the leper house together. I commend them for bringing a gun with them, but why on earth did they think two people was enough? And the logic on bringing just one bike with them is astoundingly stupid. And the idea that the monster gave chase on open roads in broad daylight, nearly pulling Richie off the bike.... oh noes oh noes oh noes.
----------
2:20pm - Home
Chapter 9
I'm happy Beverly got a chapter, and that we get to hear what happened to Stanley (I worried with his committing suicide in the 'present' if we would get his story at all). But the blood, jesus the blood.
I can talk myself around being scared of monsters. But the underhanded menace of blood and voices that only you can hear. I can convince myself they're not real but the fact that I'm hearing them is troubling enough. When Beverly decides to go fishing for the monster down the sink drain I had to stop myself from screaming at her for being an idiot. Damn, kids can be dumb.
I did like the opening - Beverly's friend saying flat out that everyone knows Bev was in an abusive relationship. There's no point hiding it.
And poor Stanley, fending off the monster by shouting bird names at it. Richie did something similar with his voices. Those are things that make the kids happy, can the monster be out off or defeated by happy thoughts? It's an old trope now but maybe in 1985 it was a new thing.
Holy shit, 1985? I was born that year.
----------
3:32pm - Home
Second Interlude
So I want to throw this out there before I start, I only just now realized Mike Hanlon was black. Which makes it a jew, a fat kid, a girl, a black kid, a stutterer, and the schizo kid who does voices. It's a veritable melting pot.
I've been weaving between two ideas - one that the people of the town do evil things which feeds the monster, or two, the monster makes the people do evil things. I'm definitely leaning more towards the second right now.
Anyway, the fire at the Black Spot. I know that racism is a thing, still is. But I was brought up in a way that tells me that it's wrong and to read about this - to know that people did these kinds of things, set building of people on fire. Yes, it's just a book, but these things happened in real life too. And the detail King feeds into it make me feel vaguely voyeuristic. Like I'm contributing somehow to these people. There have been whole treaties written about this (Have you seen Cabin in the Woods yet?) but since I don't watch horror movies ever, this is my first experience of feeling complicit in the events going on.
----------
Conversation with my Mother
Me: I decided, against all rhyme and reason to start reading It and it's freaking me out.
Mom: To this day, when I see cats peering into gutters I'm like 'Don't do that, you're going to get pulled down there.' And then I see raccoons poking their heads out and think 'Don't be in there. There are things in there.' I would never go in there.
----------
Continue?
IT Part Three
IT Part Four
IT Part Five
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission
10:20am - Work
Chapter 7
Well, at least these people are talking to each other now. I know, it's a horrible thing to say out loud something you know sounds crazy, to throw yourself out there as being too imaginative and odd - but for Christ's sake kids something is trying to kill you.
Speak the damn hell up.
Anyway, whatever. Eddie is attacked by a leper, pretty sure a legit one the first time who keeps offering him a blowjob. The second time it's the monster pretending to be a leper (there's a thought, does the monster pretend to be x, y or z - or does it actually become them?) who chases Eddie through some bushes.
And then, after damming up the river the boys all sit down and have a natter and three of them fess up to having been attacked by the monster in some capacity. Although compared to Ben and Eddie's stories, Bill's "bleeding picture" bit seems a let down. Except that it took place in his home which I only just realized and we will never be safe again.
----------
1:21pm - Home
Chapter 8
Yes, a lot of encounters have happened in this book, but this is the first time it's felt like any of these kids were in real danger.
Let's back up, shall we?
Richie is my least favorite of the group by far - he was that kid I always disliked because he was annoying, and always had to be the center of attention. Despite that, this is one of my favorite chapters.
One, the fact that whatever is happening in Derry is pervasive floats even more to the surface as Bill and Richie look at Georgie's photo album again. Seeing themselves being lured to their deaths by the clown - the Bill injuring himself as he reaches through the photo is deeply unsettling.
Two, the further treatment of the bullies, and Ben and Richie and Bev (Bev, where have you been?) not only sticking up for themselves but escaping made me want to stand up and cheer.
Then, three, the boys decide to go investigate the leper house together. I commend them for bringing a gun with them, but why on earth did they think two people was enough? And the logic on bringing just one bike with them is astoundingly stupid. And the idea that the monster gave chase on open roads in broad daylight, nearly pulling Richie off the bike.... oh noes oh noes oh noes.
----------
2:20pm - Home
Chapter 9
I'm happy Beverly got a chapter, and that we get to hear what happened to Stanley (I worried with his committing suicide in the 'present' if we would get his story at all). But the blood, jesus the blood.
I can talk myself around being scared of monsters. But the underhanded menace of blood and voices that only you can hear. I can convince myself they're not real but the fact that I'm hearing them is troubling enough. When Beverly decides to go fishing for the monster down the sink drain I had to stop myself from screaming at her for being an idiot. Damn, kids can be dumb.
I did like the opening - Beverly's friend saying flat out that everyone knows Bev was in an abusive relationship. There's no point hiding it.
And poor Stanley, fending off the monster by shouting bird names at it. Richie did something similar with his voices. Those are things that make the kids happy, can the monster be out off or defeated by happy thoughts? It's an old trope now but maybe in 1985 it was a new thing.
Holy shit, 1985? I was born that year.
----------
3:32pm - Home
Second Interlude
So I want to throw this out there before I start, I only just now realized Mike Hanlon was black. Which makes it a jew, a fat kid, a girl, a black kid, a stutterer, and the schizo kid who does voices. It's a veritable melting pot.
I've been weaving between two ideas - one that the people of the town do evil things which feeds the monster, or two, the monster makes the people do evil things. I'm definitely leaning more towards the second right now.
Anyway, the fire at the Black Spot. I know that racism is a thing, still is. But I was brought up in a way that tells me that it's wrong and to read about this - to know that people did these kinds of things, set building of people on fire. Yes, it's just a book, but these things happened in real life too. And the detail King feeds into it make me feel vaguely voyeuristic. Like I'm contributing somehow to these people. There have been whole treaties written about this (Have you seen Cabin in the Woods yet?) but since I don't watch horror movies ever, this is my first experience of feeling complicit in the events going on.
----------
Conversation with my Mother
Me: I decided, against all rhyme and reason to start reading It and it's freaking me out.
Mom: To this day, when I see cats peering into gutters I'm like 'Don't do that, you're going to get pulled down there.' And then I see raccoons poking their heads out and think 'Don't be in there. There are things in there.' I would never go in there.
----------
Continue?
IT Part Three
IT Part Four
IT Part Five
12 May 2012
IT - Intermission
IT Part 1
IT Part 2
As much as I said I would finish this book tonight, I didn't get a good start on it until nearly 6pm. And I know that there will come a point after which I can't stop, so I'm going to finish for the evening and read one of my romances I picked up at the library instead.
Someone on facebook asked me if I was going to be jumping at shadows for the next few days and the answer is: yes and no.
Yes, I will freak myself out about every sound, every shadow and every time I think I feel something that isn't there. I have an active imagination and in cases like these it is a curse.
But no, it won't be that bad because I have an incredibly logical side too. And that side of me says - nothing has changed in the world in the last eight hours. Reading that book did not cause monsters to spontaneously burst into existence - nor is reading it going to draw otherworldly forces to me.
And the real kicker - even if there were monsters and demons and creatures lurking in the shadows, I am not going to escape from them. That's not my role in life's play. If I wake up and there is a genuine clown in my bedroom holding a bunch of balloons and ready to strangle me - I'm going to die whether I lay in bed fretting about it or not. My bedroom is a prime place to attack as it only has one exit. By the time I know I'm in danger it would be too late to do anything.
So why worry?
That credulous streak, and the ability to turn it on and off mostly at will, is one of my better qualities I think. At least, on a personal useful level.
----------
Continue?
IT Part Two (redux)
IT Part Three
IT Part Four
IT Part Five
IT Part 2
As much as I said I would finish this book tonight, I didn't get a good start on it until nearly 6pm. And I know that there will come a point after which I can't stop, so I'm going to finish for the evening and read one of my romances I picked up at the library instead.
Someone on facebook asked me if I was going to be jumping at shadows for the next few days and the answer is: yes and no.
Yes, I will freak myself out about every sound, every shadow and every time I think I feel something that isn't there. I have an active imagination and in cases like these it is a curse.
But no, it won't be that bad because I have an incredibly logical side too. And that side of me says - nothing has changed in the world in the last eight hours. Reading that book did not cause monsters to spontaneously burst into existence - nor is reading it going to draw otherworldly forces to me.
And the real kicker - even if there were monsters and demons and creatures lurking in the shadows, I am not going to escape from them. That's not my role in life's play. If I wake up and there is a genuine clown in my bedroom holding a bunch of balloons and ready to strangle me - I'm going to die whether I lay in bed fretting about it or not. My bedroom is a prime place to attack as it only has one exit. By the time I know I'm in danger it would be too late to do anything.
So why worry?
That credulous streak, and the ability to turn it on and off mostly at will, is one of my better qualities I think. At least, on a personal useful level.
----------
Continue?
IT Part Two (redux)
IT Part Three
IT Part Four
IT Part Five
IT - Part Two
Link to Part One
8:35pm - Home
Chapter 4
This book is not outright scary. Not jumping out at you face-eating clown scary (although that's certainly a part). It's every moment IT might show up scary. It's every bush, every rattle, every footstep might be IT scary.
And that's so much worse.
Let's begin at the beginning - are kids actually as viciously mean as the ones I see in books or movies? I remember my childhood fairly well, but the sheer level of brutality in the three bullies of Derry is stunning to me. Which bring me back to an earlier point - are these people really this awful, or does Derry make them this awful? If we put Henry Bowers in San Francisco, would he be an abusive little shit? Does Derry create monsters or just nurture them?
Why am I reading this book?
I really feel for Ben in this chapter. I myself was a loner nerd throughout - well pretty much until now. But while girl's can be mean, they're rarely physically mean. At least not in the same proportion as boys are. (Yes, there's always one girl everyone knew who was an evil bully, but I'm saying that in general when a girl is offended she throws insults - boys throw fists. Ceterus paribus. In the long run on the average. Grain of salt and all that.)
So reading about poor Ben, loving the library but not even able to make it home without being attacked, having to fight his way into the Barrens - a place we soon discover he has reason to fear even more than he does Henry's knife - was heart-breaking.
That he chooses to hide in the dark - with all the scary things he has seen with his own eyes lurking about - makes me want to give him a hug.
God, I kind of hate everyone in this book right now except for Ben. Yes, even you Stuttering Bill.
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9:19pm - Home
Chapter 5
I take it back Bill. You are precious and awesome and you have all of my love.
When he rides off on his too-big bike to get his friend's medication (even if it's a placebo and what the fuck people?) comes back and instantly makes friends with poor Ben... only to go home to two parents who have forgotten, in their grief that they have two sons. The loss of the one is enough to tear them apart and poor Bill doesn't know how - isn't enough to bring them back together.
My heart, it is breaking.
But can we please stick to monster creepiness and not blood leaking from under the edges of photos creepiness?
Thank you.
----------
I just went to open the book and start Chapter 6 and had a vision of it leaping forward and eating my face. I'm on page 250 and I'm already hallucinating.
----------
9:57pm - Home
Chapter 6
I'm confused, and starting to get into genuinely scared territory (not just freaked out a little).
The monster can turn itself into what the kids fear most? Is that what I'm supposed to get out of this? Because none of them were scared of the clown for being a clown - only because the clown ended up having crazy eyes and eating them.
But Eddie is attacked by his dead-brother/creature from the black lagoon and Mike by a giant bird - both of them clearly and immediately terrified by the things. It makes me wonder what makes the creature chose what it appears as.
And Mike's dad is the first parent in the book I genuinely like. Team Mr Hanlon Forver! (That would be a timely reference to put on a shirt.)
----------
Continue?
IT - Intermission
IT Part Two (redux)
IT Part Three
IT Part Four
IT Part Five
8:35pm - Home
Chapter 4
This book is not outright scary. Not jumping out at you face-eating clown scary (although that's certainly a part). It's every moment IT might show up scary. It's every bush, every rattle, every footstep might be IT scary.
And that's so much worse.
Let's begin at the beginning - are kids actually as viciously mean as the ones I see in books or movies? I remember my childhood fairly well, but the sheer level of brutality in the three bullies of Derry is stunning to me. Which bring me back to an earlier point - are these people really this awful, or does Derry make them this awful? If we put Henry Bowers in San Francisco, would he be an abusive little shit? Does Derry create monsters or just nurture them?
Why am I reading this book?
I really feel for Ben in this chapter. I myself was a loner nerd throughout - well pretty much until now. But while girl's can be mean, they're rarely physically mean. At least not in the same proportion as boys are. (Yes, there's always one girl everyone knew who was an evil bully, but I'm saying that in general when a girl is offended she throws insults - boys throw fists. Ceterus paribus. In the long run on the average. Grain of salt and all that.)
So reading about poor Ben, loving the library but not even able to make it home without being attacked, having to fight his way into the Barrens - a place we soon discover he has reason to fear even more than he does Henry's knife - was heart-breaking.
That he chooses to hide in the dark - with all the scary things he has seen with his own eyes lurking about - makes me want to give him a hug.
God, I kind of hate everyone in this book right now except for Ben. Yes, even you Stuttering Bill.
----------
9:19pm - Home
Chapter 5
I take it back Bill. You are precious and awesome and you have all of my love.
When he rides off on his too-big bike to get his friend's medication (even if it's a placebo and what the fuck people?) comes back and instantly makes friends with poor Ben... only to go home to two parents who have forgotten, in their grief that they have two sons. The loss of the one is enough to tear them apart and poor Bill doesn't know how - isn't enough to bring them back together.
My heart, it is breaking.
But can we please stick to monster creepiness and not blood leaking from under the edges of photos creepiness?
Thank you.
----------
I just went to open the book and start Chapter 6 and had a vision of it leaping forward and eating my face. I'm on page 250 and I'm already hallucinating.
----------
9:57pm - Home
Chapter 6
I'm confused, and starting to get into genuinely scared territory (not just freaked out a little).
The monster can turn itself into what the kids fear most? Is that what I'm supposed to get out of this? Because none of them were scared of the clown for being a clown - only because the clown ended up having crazy eyes and eating them.
But Eddie is attacked by his dead-brother/creature from the black lagoon and Mike by a giant bird - both of them clearly and immediately terrified by the things. It makes me wonder what makes the creature chose what it appears as.
And Mike's dad is the first parent in the book I genuinely like. Team Mr Hanlon Forver! (That would be a timely reference to put on a shirt.)
----------
Continue?
IT - Intermission
IT Part Two (redux)
IT Part Three
IT Part Four
IT Part Five
IT - Part One
Stephen King
Grade: TBD
So I'm going to try something new (to me) for this review. The thing is, I've never read IT. It's just not something that ever crossed my radar as a book I might even in the slightest bit be interested in. I know everyone else in the world has read it, but I haven't for two reasons.
1) I loathe being scared.
2) Everything scares me.
I have no reason why I decided, a couple of weeks ago, that I should read the most famous horror novel of all time (is that even up for debate?) - but here we are.
So what I'm going to do is liveblog reading this. I'm a fairly quick reader so even though this books is 8,000 pages long I will likely finish it tonight. Right before I go to sleep. I put no thought into this whatsoever, obviously.
Disclaimer (ie What I already know about this book)
Truthfully? Not a lot. There are some kids being attacked by a monster, that is sometimes a clown. I think maybe theirselves from the future come back to try and save them at some point. OMG, does this mean this book has time travel in it? That would be awesome.
I know there was a movie with Tim Curry that scared the bejeezus out of pretty much everyone and that I haven't seen because see point 1 above. And for the record, I do not have coulrophobia (the irrational fear of clowns) but I do have curryphobia (the irrational fear of Tim Curry eating your face off). Although on second thought, the definition of a 'phobia' is an irrational fear and fear of Tim Curry is a totally rational thing as he's a scary scary man.
Anyways, after my long lead-in, let's get cracking.
Grade: TBD
So I'm going to try something new (to me) for this review. The thing is, I've never read IT. It's just not something that ever crossed my radar as a book I might even in the slightest bit be interested in. I know everyone else in the world has read it, but I haven't for two reasons.
1) I loathe being scared.
2) Everything scares me.
I have no reason why I decided, a couple of weeks ago, that I should read the most famous horror novel of all time (is that even up for debate?) - but here we are.
So what I'm going to do is liveblog reading this. I'm a fairly quick reader so even though this books is 8,000 pages long I will likely finish it tonight. Right before I go to sleep. I put no thought into this whatsoever, obviously.
Disclaimer (ie What I already know about this book)
Truthfully? Not a lot. There are some kids being attacked by a monster, that is sometimes a clown. I think maybe theirselves from the future come back to try and save them at some point. OMG, does this mean this book has time travel in it? That would be awesome.
I know there was a movie with Tim Curry that scared the bejeezus out of pretty much everyone and that I haven't seen because see point 1 above. And for the record, I do not have coulrophobia (the irrational fear of clowns) but I do have curryphobia (the irrational fear of Tim Curry eating your face off). Although on second thought, the definition of a 'phobia' is an irrational fear and fear of Tim Curry is a totally rational thing as he's a scary scary man.
Anyways, after my long lead-in, let's get cracking.
31 March 2012
The stupidest company in the world...
I am a big fan of Game of Thrones and have been looking forward to watching Season 2 since they announced it was being picked up last year.
I don't have cable, so in order to watch it on my TV I'd have to pay for an entire cable package, plus HBO on top of it. They have HBOgo, which is their online arm, but it is only available to people who subscribe to HBO through a cable network.
HBOgo's infrastructure is already entirely setup. Selling it to someone requires only a link to sign up and give credit card details. Nothing further, but HBO won't do this. You have to go through a cable provider (which are becoming more and more obsolete as the internet progresses anyway).
And that's it. That's the only option. Game of Thrones is not available anywhere else but through HBO.
Oh, I could torrent it. Be a pirate. In fact everyone I know is doing just that because none of us have cable. Why would we? We have youtube and 90% of what's on TV is either horrible, or available to watch online somewhere for a fee or even free with adverts. I'm cool with that. I will pay what I deem fair for something I enjoy. But I will not pirate something I support, because that's a very good way to ensure that what you support will cease to be made.
I honestly do not understand HBOs logic here. A subscription is a subscription, what does it matter if it's through comcast or suddenlink or their own website? This whole system is just encouraging me to pirate for the first time ever - and at my age and in this time that is saying a lot. (I don't even download music.)
In short, what we're talking about is a company refusing to make money by selling a service to people - a service they can sell at no additional costs to themselves. It makes absolutely no sense from a business perspective. None.
Therefore, by the power invested in my by the gods of the internets I hereby proclaim HBO to be:
(If you're wondering, I managed to watch it last year because my brother had HBO.)
30 January 2012
Super Bowl
This totally just happened:
Me, checking twitter, I see that the Giants and the Patriots are playing in the Super Bowl this weekend. I turn to a friend, R...
me: Hey, I didn't know the Giants made the Super Bowl, that's cool. Like a total east coast versus west coast thing.
R: *blank stare*
me: You know, how there both on the coasts.... away from each other.... [I'm making hand gestures to help him.]
R: Yeah, except they're in neighboring states.
me: Wait, I thought the Patriots were on the east coast somewhere.
R: They are.
me: And the Giants are in San Francisco.
R: New York.
A pause while I take this in, a confused look on my face...
me: It's not the San Francisco Giants?
R: That's baseball.
me: Oh....
I'm usually faking being sports dumb, but apparently closer to the truth than I thought it was.
Me, checking twitter, I see that the Giants and the Patriots are playing in the Super Bowl this weekend. I turn to a friend, R...
me: Hey, I didn't know the Giants made the Super Bowl, that's cool. Like a total east coast versus west coast thing.
R: *blank stare*
me: You know, how there both on the coasts.... away from each other.... [I'm making hand gestures to help him.]
R: Yeah, except they're in neighboring states.
me: Wait, I thought the Patriots were on the east coast somewhere.
R: They are.
me: And the Giants are in San Francisco.
R: New York.
A pause while I take this in, a confused look on my face...
me: It's not the San Francisco Giants?
R: That's baseball.
me: Oh....
I'm usually faking being sports dumb, but apparently closer to the truth than I thought it was.
07 December 2011
Merry Christmas
Okay peeps, here's the deal and I'll say it once.
NO ONE CARES IF *YOU* SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS. *NO ONE*.
Some stores say Happy Holidays because some people celebrate Chanukah, and some celebrate Kwanza and for some it's just another year. See also - holiday cards for the people who don't want to try and figure out what religion their third cousin is practicing at the moment. If you celebrate Christmas and want to shout it from the rooftops DO IT. If someone tries to shut you up the ACLU will gladly represent you (as they've done in the past).
But get off you persecuted high-horse. The government is not allowed to endorse one religion over another, so if you want to put up a tree in city hall you HAVE TO ALLOW other religions to put up a display as well. Sorry, that's how this country works and the law is there to protect you too.
But no one, not in a public position, not in a non-profit, has ever seriously put forth the idea that individuals cannot say Merry Christmas. Not now, not ever. Quit pretending they have just so you can act like you are a persecuted minority while Christianity enjoys a ridiculous amount of protection and privilege in the US.
It's absurd and you come across as the entitled assholes you are.
Merry Christmas.
NO ONE CARES IF *YOU* SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS. *NO ONE*.
Some stores say Happy Holidays because some people celebrate Chanukah, and some celebrate Kwanza and for some it's just another year. See also - holiday cards for the people who don't want to try and figure out what religion their third cousin is practicing at the moment. If you celebrate Christmas and want to shout it from the rooftops DO IT. If someone tries to shut you up the ACLU will gladly represent you (as they've done in the past).
But get off you persecuted high-horse. The government is not allowed to endorse one religion over another, so if you want to put up a tree in city hall you HAVE TO ALLOW other religions to put up a display as well. Sorry, that's how this country works and the law is there to protect you too.
But no one, not in a public position, not in a non-profit, has ever seriously put forth the idea that individuals cannot say Merry Christmas. Not now, not ever. Quit pretending they have just so you can act like you are a persecuted minority while Christianity enjoys a ridiculous amount of protection and privilege in the US.
It's absurd and you come across as the entitled assholes you are.
Merry Christmas.
27 October 2011
Occupy Oakland
I'm a backseat revolutionary. I see that there are problems in the world but I either a) have faith that the people in government actually care and are trying to fix things, or b) feel like it can't be fixed. Either way, I generally don't get involved. There are very few issues I'm passionate about and they almost never come up in the news as they are a little (lot) fringe.
On Tuesday night, I was sitting in my new apartment reading textsfromlastnight and watching X-Factor. A fairly solid American night in. I toggled over to twitter and suddenly my tweetstream was on fire. I began to see pictures of people showing injuries from rubber bullets. Video of groups trying to outrun clouds of tear gas being set by the police. I started checking tweets from people who were there and the outcry was unanimous. A group of people marching in protest had been violently responded to by the Oakland PD. And the best defense Oakland could come up with was that protesters had thrown "paint and other hazardous chemicals"* at the police. Also, hearsay about one M-80 being thrown at a police officer.
I was stunned by this, and I sat in shock on my couch as I started frantically switching between news outlets both on my TV and online trying to find someone who was covering what was going on. At the time, only ABC was saying anything, and that wasn't much.
It didn't take long for me to move from stunned into angry. I very rarely get truly mad about something, although I get frustrated fairly easily, and when I do it generally has to do with injustice. Here was a group of people trying to make things better for everyone, being violently opposed by their own government.
Now, I'm not sure I support Occupy Wall Street. I understand and agree with what they are trying to do, but I'm not sure their methods are exactly the best. But on Tuesday night it didn't matter. These were US citizens being treated like a criminals.
I wrote the number of the one person I thought might bail me out of jail on my arm and I jumped in my car.
I'm not sure what I thought I would accomplish. One more person wasn't going to make a difference. But I couldn't think of any other way to let Oakland PD and indeed all of America know that this wasn't right. This isn't what America is supposed to look like. Not ever.
I'm pretty sure I parked illegally - every cop for forty miles had their hands full two blocks north of me, who was going to give me a ticket? And I started jogging towards 14th street.
Then a bang.
Bang doesn't even begin to cover the sound it made when it went off. It was loud enough to make me stop dead, jarring enough to stop my heart. The noise was less than two blocks away and I had no idea whether it was a gunshot, an explosion, or some even scarier third category.
That's when I saw the people running. And right behind them, like a monster from a Stephen King novel, a cloud of smoke.
It felt far away. Like another planet. Very unreal. Honestly, the sound of the canister going off frightened me more than the idea of the gas itself.
Until a change in breeze pushed the edges of the cloud my direction.
I didn't get a full face of tear gas. I can't imagine how painful that would be. The brief exposure I had made it almost impossible to breath and left me retching into the side of a building.
People, I guess with the same idea I'd had originally, were running past me to those who had caught the full brunt of the gas - pulling people out of the way, washing their eyes out with water and lending a shoulder for those who were having difficulty moving on their own.
This was the 'mob', this was the 'riot' that police from all over the East Bay had been called out to respond to.
Oh yes, this is an unruly group of people, what with their cameras and mobile phones. The only time a camera becomes dangerous is if you throw it someone's head. And by the looks of them they cost more than I make in a month so I sincerely doubt that was going on.
Now, I admit this was not all, or even a majority of the people down at Occupy Oakland. The people who had started it were behind the barricades, still fighting in many ways for their lives. There is no such thing as 'non-lethal', only 'less-lethal'. Can you imagine the fear? You're facing a much larger force which has already proven how far they were willing to take things on virtually no provocation. What could that possibly feel like to the people trapped behind the barricades in downtown Oakland?
But the police were not containing their aggression to the 'official' Occupy Oakland protests. They weren't containing it behind the barricades, but openly firing into public spaces. They were firing upon journalists and photographers. Hipster onlookers and curious college students. They were firing on the people trying to help the people who were fired on before. This wasn't crowd dispersal, it was a police-led riot.
I didn't stick around to get arrested. I was disgusted with the police, with Oakland, and a little bit with myself as it became increasingly clear that there was nothing I could do to help this situation. I was just another body downtown making the police nervous.
So I went home.
I had to pull over twice because my eyes were stinging so bad I still couldn't see. I've had breathing troubles since then.
This isn't America. In no world should this be how people who are legally and peaceably protesting their government are treated.
I haven't been a big supporter of the Occupy movement, their's just wasn't a cause I felt I could get behind. But a government assaulting its citizens? I'm not just mad, I'm not just riled up, I'm fucking furious.
"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable."
-JFK
*If the top of your list of hazardous chemicals is 'paint', you're over-reacting. That's just a fact.
09 October 2011
In memory of Suzanne
I was eleven years old when I met Suzanne. She was my sixth grade teacher, and I'm ashamed to say that my class was the reason she refused to ever teach sixth grade again.
We gave her so much grief, and she took it with the grace beyond the realm of mere mortals. No matter how bad things got, how bad her life went, she faced it with a relentless optimism she wore like a suit of armor – ready to wield a joke and flash that beautiful smile.
I never would have guessed then that that rocky start would be the start of a friendship that has lasted 15 years.
Suzanne taught me so much, which is fitting all things considered.
She taught me that musical theater was more than just Cats. And that Steven Sondheim is by far superior to Andrew Lloyd Webber.
She taught me that to cut in line at Disneyland all you needed was a wheelchair and a friend willing to push you around – I'll give you three guesses on who was pushing whom.
She introduced me to the wonders of Ray Bradbury, and for the next three years took me to the LA County Book Fair to meet him – where I lugged three hundred pounds of books on her behalf.
She taught me the value of a good book isn't in how how much it entertains you, but by how much it changes your world.
She found it impossible to walk by a bookstore. They pulled her in like a giant lodestone – and she was the magnet. And once there, I don't think I ever saw her buy anything for herself. It was always “here, you'll love this” or “I should get these for my students”.
Her generosity was limitless.
Suzanne introduced me to Auntie Mame, and I cannot count the number of times she turned to me and say in her most dramatic interpretation “Dahling! Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!”
Suzanne never starved.
She lived life in a way that made every moment seem precious. A Thursday wasn't two days before the weekend, it was a chance to see a 1950s movie at an LA cinema or go to the Orange County Performing Arts Center.
She was a role-model in the best sense of the word.
She taught me that love was finding that one person who loves you for everything that you are. Who isn't blind to your faults, and loves you not in spite of them, but because of them. I can say, without any equivocation, that one of the proudest things in my life is that I helped Suzanne reunite with Tom.
She did so much for me, I will take credit for what little I could do for her.
Suzanne also taught me how to stand up for myself, and that being a woman means finding the strength and confidence from within yourself to go on when life was hard.
And her life was hard. She was dealt more blows than any person should ever have had to deal with – but she faced them with that spirit and cheerfulness and an unwillingness to accept things just because someone told her to. Some people might call that stubbornness, I call it willpower . She fought for every inch and earned everything she had.
But Suzanne's real gift was that she really and truly believed that you could do anything, and more so than that, she would talk to you, listen to you - and in the end, you believed it to.
Her ability to inspire and motivate was astounding and unwavering – she would believe in you long after you had given up on yourself. She was always available for that three AM phone call because you felt your life was falling down around your ears.
And she could pick you up and put the pieces back together without ever breaking stride.
Suzanne gave every person she met their own set of wings, stamped with her bright smile as the seal of approval, and she never asked for anything in return, she'd just stand back and let you fly...
I just wish we didn't have to do it without her.
19 September 2011
Moving
I have nothing pithy or entertaining to say about moving other than I wish it were over. Instead, have this -
*******************
Packing all of your belongings into a U-Haul and then transporting them across several states is nearly as stressful and futile as trying to run away from lava in swim fins.
(Go read the rest at Hyperbole and a Half)
11 September 2011
Move On
A lot has changed in the last year since I wrote this.
But vengeance is not justice. They could hang Osama bin Laden on Ground Zero itself, resurrect him and do it over again a thousand times and it would still never be enough. My grief, our grief, is too strong, too close to be satisfied by something so trivial as revenge. I remember as well as anyone the bone-deep need for reprisal, but vengeance is not worthy of us. Not then and most certainly not now.
Back then I shared my own grief over September 11th simply as an American. I tried to be as calm and measured about it as possible. This year I'm not going to be - this year I'm going be whatever the opposite of that is.
It's time to move the fuck on.
On May 2nd, 2011 a group of American Navy SEALs shot bin Laden in the head. And for a little while it seemed the world was a better place. But quicker than anyone could have really imagined we got over it.
Every year, on September 11th, my television becomes an endless cycle of plane crashes and buildings falling. We've started two wars - twice as many American have been killed in those wars than died in the World Trade Centers*. Do you think, even for a moment, that May 2nd will receive the same treatment? I had to look that date up just now on Wikipedia, that's how little of an impact it made on me.
We can't keep this up forever, we can't stay mad - we can't wallow in out grief. It isn't healthy. If an individual did what we collectively have done as a nation every year they would be recommended to psychiatric care.
Do we forget? Never.
But can we please, for the love of god, move the fuck on?
*WTC Deaths: 2977; Deaths in Iraq/Afghanistan 6026
02 September 2011
Apollo 18
(I forgot to hit post on this back in Sept. My bad)
Holy shi
t people. At one point, with my feet in the seat and my hands over my ears I was squinting at the screen waiting for the bad thing I just knew was coming and realized that the thump-thump, thump-thump I was hearing wasn't onscreen, but my own goddamn heartbeat. My heart has not beat that hard for that long ever.
When the movie finished I think I was in legitimate medical shock. I was laughing hysterically and shaking. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen.
Holy shit.
Best
Movie
EVER.
Like many of the movie that have come out the last few years, Apollo 18 claims to be a 'found' movie - cobbled together from footage rather than actually filmed. In some cases this can be ridiculous as the production values give away the secret, no matter how much shaky-cam you have. (I'm looking at you Cloverfield). In Apollo 18 the film is scratchy, the colors occasionally over-exposed - I could actually buy into the concept that this was footage from the 1970s.
And that's what makes this movie so scary. You know it's just a movie - you're not watching some special on the History Channel (which has lost all credibility so I wouldn't have been surprised if it was), but you can believe that you are. There's no soundtrack, and the cameras are either stationary on the lunar lander or the handheld ones from the astronauts.
The scariest moments come in snippets - not when things are jumping at you - which by and large they don't. This isn't really a loud noises and bloody movie. It's noticing things moving where they shouldn't be, details and minutiae that you as the viewer are privy too but the astronauts are not. You watch it build up, over and over and over again until you're wound so tight you feel like you might just burst. And the really awful part is?
It never lets up. By the time the credits rolled I was shaking. I started laughing at myself for being so shook up, which quickly took on the edge of hysteria.
Now okay, fine, I'm not a horror movie person so this movie might have been chock full of clichés (I hear it was) of the 'found movie' genre. But since I'm not a scary movie person, they were all new and intensely terrifying to me.
I don't want to ruin a moment, I don't want you to not see it because I say something that makes it sound stupid. Go to the theatre, go rent it, watch it in a darkened room and then go outside and take a good long look into the night sky.
And your doom.
Holy shi
t people. At one point, with my feet in the seat and my hands over my ears I was squinting at the screen waiting for the bad thing I just knew was coming and realized that the thump-thump, thump-thump I was hearing wasn't onscreen, but my own goddamn heartbeat. My heart has not beat that hard for that long ever.When the movie finished I think I was in legitimate medical shock. I was laughing hysterically and shaking. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen.
Holy shit.
Best
Movie
EVER.
Like many of the movie that have come out the last few years, Apollo 18 claims to be a 'found' movie - cobbled together from footage rather than actually filmed. In some cases this can be ridiculous as the production values give away the secret, no matter how much shaky-cam you have. (I'm looking at you Cloverfield). In Apollo 18 the film is scratchy, the colors occasionally over-exposed - I could actually buy into the concept that this was footage from the 1970s.
And that's what makes this movie so scary. You know it's just a movie - you're not watching some special on the History Channel (which has lost all credibility so I wouldn't have been surprised if it was), but you can believe that you are. There's no soundtrack, and the cameras are either stationary on the lunar lander or the handheld ones from the astronauts.
The scariest moments come in snippets - not when things are jumping at you - which by and large they don't. This isn't really a loud noises and bloody movie. It's noticing things moving where they shouldn't be, details and minutiae that you as the viewer are privy too but the astronauts are not. You watch it build up, over and over and over again until you're wound so tight you feel like you might just burst. And the really awful part is?
It never lets up. By the time the credits rolled I was shaking. I started laughing at myself for being so shook up, which quickly took on the edge of hysteria.
Now okay, fine, I'm not a horror movie person so this movie might have been chock full of clichés (I hear it was) of the 'found movie' genre. But since I'm not a scary movie person, they were all new and intensely terrifying to me.
I don't want to ruin a moment, I don't want you to not see it because I say something that makes it sound stupid. Go to the theatre, go rent it, watch it in a darkened room and then go outside and take a good long look into the night sky.
And your doom.
23 May 2011
Microsoft
I am trying to turn my laptop into a dual-boot. Keeping Ubuntu on one-side and installing Microsoft on the other. For all my love for Ubuntu - I have a laundry list of products that don't support using anything but Windows and thus - here I am.
I am, however, having problems installing Windows 7. I was warned that the 3-pack of installations that my father bought had buggy product keys and that I was going to have to call in order to have it fixed. I was not looking forward to this, but whatever. We use Windows 7 at school and I rather like it, so let's do this.
My phone call to Microsoft - with a VERY SPECIFIC problem - took me an hour and a half to finish. I say 'finish' not 'resolve' because... well, I'll get to that. In the course of this call:
1) I was transferred upwards of eight times. Three of those were not to other departments, but back to the main menu where I would have to start the entire process over.
2) I was accused, vehemently, of having them on speaker phone since they couldn't understand me. One lady even went so far as to circumspectly accuse me of lying to her when I maintained that I wasn't.
3) The man who finally took on the apparently gargantuan task of checking my product key comes back only to tell me that their system is down and can I call back in an hour. He later rescinded this and did some sort of magic - but seriously Microsoft? You don't inspire confidence in your product when I call into your own support center and the system is down. You should look into that.
4) I'm told that the product is out of warranty. Excuse me? A product that has never been activated, and therefore never used is out of warranty? "So what your telling me is that I was sold a product that won't install correctly but you refuse to help me because it's somehow fallen outside of warranty - even though it has never been activated or registered?" "Yes ma'am."
5) I apologized for raising my voice to him, asked to speak to someone else and that man then hung up on me. I kid you not.
There is a reason... there is a reason I happily switched to a Linux-based system two years ago. A system that has never crashed, never failed and never given me one frakkin' problem. I still need to do a Windows install. There are programs I need for my summer teaching fellowship that just don't work on Ubuntu. But I will be damned if I use a legal copy.
Microsoft - you have turned a girl who has legally downloaded every song she owns into a pirate. I hope you're happy.
05 April 2011
Worst Case Scenario
Whenever I am trying to make a decision - usually relatively benign such as 'Should I wear this hat today? - I always ask myself the follow-up question, 'What's the worst that could happen?'
You might think that in this case it would be something like appearing on fugly.com. But no.
No matter what the decision is, my brain immediately turns to some variation on this...
People fleeing in the background, optional.And that, kids, is why I almost never try anything new.
21 March 2011
Packages
Last week I sent my bestest friend a package using a flat-rate box. I remember this well because the post office lady and I discussed how I was actually losing money because the box was so light. I also sent a painting via UPS because it was a goofy size and I didn't have a box for it.
Today I got a text saying that the UPS package arrived and to explain something in the box. This confused me. It was a pretty self-explanatory painting. When questioned, I realized she meant something from the flat-rate USPS box which included some shirts. I stated this.
[The following are our texts]
L: I believe that the wearable items were delivered by ups, dear. Check your tracking number.
NH: No, it was a USPS flat rate box. I remember it well.
And only you could figure out a way to wear the other package.
L: It was not! I'm looking at it now. It's brown.
A brown UPS box arrived today containing a pair of socks, a robe, a t-shirt and a mysterious little frame WHICH YOU ARE NOW GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT.
NH: That was a flat rate box! I VIVIDLY remember this. Because I wrote it to [name], NY NY, USA, Earth. And it made the post office lady laugh.
I VIVIDLY recall this.
And I will tell you when I am DAMN WELL READY TO.
L: I am TAKING A PICTURE OF THE BOX. RIGHT NOW.
[I have not, as of yet, seen this evidence.]
NH: I'm so confused. I'm calling you.
[At this point, I called and had one ring before being shunted to voicemail.]
NH: Or I'm not calling you because you're texting in class.
[She totally was, and got in trouble for trying to take a picture of the box during class.]
[A phone call followed later in which her doorman stated to god above there was no other package for her and then I had it out with her doorman and she hung up on me. A few moments later...]
L: Hmm. Maaaaybe you were right about the 2nd pkg.
NH: HA!.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
[I am, as always, gracious in victory.]
I don't know what happened to the first package, or why it spontaneously changed colors. I am confused by this, but by god I was at least right about something today.
Today I got a text saying that the UPS package arrived and to explain something in the box. This confused me. It was a pretty self-explanatory painting. When questioned, I realized she meant something from the flat-rate USPS box which included some shirts. I stated this.
[The following are our texts]
L: I believe that the wearable items were delivered by ups, dear. Check your tracking number.
NH: No, it was a USPS flat rate box. I remember it well.
And only you could figure out a way to wear the other package.
L: It was not! I'm looking at it now. It's brown.
A brown UPS box arrived today containing a pair of socks, a robe, a t-shirt and a mysterious little frame WHICH YOU ARE NOW GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT.
NH: That was a flat rate box! I VIVIDLY remember this. Because I wrote it to [name], NY NY, USA, Earth. And it made the post office lady laugh.
I VIVIDLY recall this.
And I will tell you when I am DAMN WELL READY TO.
L: I am TAKING A PICTURE OF THE BOX. RIGHT NOW.
[I have not, as of yet, seen this evidence.]
NH: I'm so confused. I'm calling you.
[At this point, I called and had one ring before being shunted to voicemail.]
NH: Or I'm not calling you because you're texting in class.
[She totally was, and got in trouble for trying to take a picture of the box during class.]
[A phone call followed later in which her doorman stated to god above there was no other package for her and then I had it out with her doorman and she hung up on me. A few moments later...]
L: Hmm. Maaaaybe you were right about the 2nd pkg.
NH: HA!.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
[I am, as always, gracious in victory.]
I don't know what happened to the first package, or why it spontaneously changed colors. I am confused by this, but by god I was at least right about something today.
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