26 May 2012

IT - The Movie

Why am I doing this?

Let the liveblog of IT - the movie - commence...

You know what, the scariest part of the book for me is the beginning with Georgie. The movie starts no different, as I'm typing there are some cheap thrills with blood leaking from Georgie's picture and the thing itself winking at him - but the moment where little adorable Georgie and the clown chat is undercut with such menace that it gives me shivers. I'm sitting here thinking that there's no way that Pennywise will get him because he's just too adorable for words. But of course that makes no difference in this world.

Adult Bill is a jackass, for the record. He's mean to Audra and I can totally see why he'll end up cheating on her down the line.

Adult Ben is about the weirdest flirt there is "Would you believe I used to be fat. Like butterball fat. Fat fat fat. You have no conception of how fat I was."

In the book, the whole thing with Henry Bowers seems natural - if evil. In the movie it feels very forced. They're being assholes because the script calls for it - not because they have any reason to (evil or otherwise).

Adult Beverly gets away with little fuss. Young Beverly also has some trouble and there's instant attraction between Bill & Bev. Suddenly, I'm remembering the 'Let's fuck for hope' scene in the book and I'm having a bad feeling.

Seth Green is cute as shit as Richie, although he looks at least five years older than everyone else. Young Stanley looks familiar, but IMDB says it's the only thing he's ever been in so....

The kid's families inability to see the weirdness works much better on film than in the book though.

Tim Curry is obviously having the time of his life being Pennywise which means I'm having trouble being scared by it. Or It I suppose. I know I'm supposed to be, but I'm not.

Well, I'm happy to see that movie kids have the good sense to bring flashlights into the sewers with them - instead of matches like a bunch of dumbasses.

OH! I just realized who Stanley looks like - Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It's not him, but

LOL Henry's hair turns white - from fright I can only assume. I totally lost my train of thought when that happened.

I want to also point out I keep pausing the movie to do other things because I'm more than a little bored. Why is this 3-hours long!?! I looked up some online reviews and most people are like, the book is over 1,000 pages of course the movie is three-hours.

But you know what? The book is about 800 pages too long too.

And I missed the climax of the kid's part while I was typing that. It was pretty anti-climatic, actually. Am I jaded by modern movies? The answer is yes.

This is the part in the book where Bev has sex with everyone - 12-year-old Bev I want to clarify. I don't want you to think this is in any way okay. Thankfully the movie is skipping that nonsense.

Oh no, adult Stan just killed himself.   :(    <-- sadface is sad

End part One. I guess. My DVD just stopped. Maybe that's all of the movie I get.


So there is a Part Two.

Ha, I just noticed that the scene selection thing - which is a balloon - goes to a blood splatter when you select something.

Fuck you Tim Curry, you're starting to actually freak me out more than a little. Stop that shit.

*cough* Anyways...

Richie drives into town and is much more perturbed by the Paramount having closed down than the fact that it got renamed from the Aladdin between the book and movie.

Should I be laughing at Pennywise's antics in the library? Probably not, but damn it Tim Curry, quit having such a good time!

I read somewhere that that's Tim Curry's actual hair, dyed one can only assume. If it's not, nobody disillusion me of this pleasethanks.

Why and how are we still having flashbacks? We already saw them defeat the monster in the first part.

It is really a 50/50 thing for me. Either I'm entertained by Tim Curry and how awesome he is - or he's scaring the crap out of me. No middle ground of 'Oh look, it's Tim Curry.'


And they're all meeting up at the Chinese restaurant but they don't know that Stanley is dead.

:(  <-- sadface

Ominous fortune cookies are ominous. And... there they go. Ew ew ew ew. Never eating a fortune cookie again. Wait, is the turtle in the movie? Oh please oh please, I have been so good this year. {Note from the future: there's no turtle in this movie.}

I will never look at balloons the same way again and talking heads are freaky even without going on in the Pennywise voice.

Awwww, Henry Bowers grew into everyone's favorite uncle.  The slightly crazy one who rents R movies for you and your friends. I'm not sure I can be scared of this guy. And FUCK ALL THIS TALKING IN PENNYWISE VOICE SHIT. NO MORE. I say. NO MORE.

HAHAHAHAHA Dog in a clown costume! Dog in a clown costume! HAHAHAHA. Thanks for that movie.

So here's a side story, when I was about eleven or twelve I saw the Disney version of The Three Musketeers on video*. My best friend and I instantly fell in love with the whole thing and since then I can say, with no exaggeration, I've seen it well over 100 times. I know the Sting/Bryan Adams/ Rod Stewart song pretty much by heart. [Let's make it all for one/ and all for love!] This is the version with all the eye-candy - Keifer Sutherland, a young (ie not [very] drug-addled) Charlie Sheen, a fairly slim Oliver Platt, Chris O'Donnell and a vicious and awesome Tim Curry as the villain. Now, I know Tim Curry is not exactly an attractive man. You know this too, even if you are attracted to him. He objectively looks evil. But for some reason he was probably my first villain crush. If you don't count Hexxus in Fern Gully who, in his first song, caused me to spontaneously enter puberty. Is it coincidence he was also voiced by Tim Curry? I think not.

What I'm trying to say here is I have a sort of love/lust/hate relationship with Tim Curry. He equal parts freaks me out and turns me on. So when, in the course of this movie, Pennywise starts growling "Don't you want it?" over and over... I kind of got a hot and bothered until I actually looked up at the TV and saw that giant clown face with glowing eyes and pointy teeth. My future sexual fantasies are going to be fucking weird.

* For those of you born after 1990, videos were the things that came before DVDs and they were a giant pain in the ass. You couldn't just skip to parts you liked, but had to wait while the VCR mechanically spooled the tape in the direction you indicated. There were no bonus features except occasionally previews for upcoming movies which if you tried to skip you ran the risk of missing the first part of the movie too. They sucked. People of the past should be ashamed of themselves.

Moving on!

Why is Mike Hanlon staying at the hotel? Did I miss the part where this was explained? Wait! Henry Bowers uses sneak attack! It is super effective!

Is Bev going to screw Ben instead of Bill? Okay, I can get behind that. So can he apparently.

Ba-dump-cha! Thank you, I'm here all week.

WHAT THE HOLY FUCK THAT WAS PENNYWISE?!? Ben does not harbor the same conflicting desires for Pennywise as I do it seems. That's probably for the best.

And there goes Henry.   :(   <-- sadface is getting too much use

"Why is It so mean?!" HAHAHAHA Bev. Really? In the cuddle with Ben she starts saying the same thing Pennywise did in his cuddle with Ben (Ben gets all the cuddles). And Ben freaks the fuck out. Rightfully so. Bill gets no action in this movie.

Wait, this is new. Ten years ago Mike went to find It. It gave him grey hair. I'm not sure what this new scene is accomplishing.

I zoned out for a bit, I think they're going after It. Yep, there they go. With flashlights again. Good boys. And Bev. Who's been pretty useless I must say.

ACK. Georgie's boat is creepy, and why are you standing over a drain? You know that's how It comes. Bill taunts It while continuing to stand over the drain because he is an IDIOT.

Pennywise shows up to taunt them, and I have a sneaking feeling this might be the last time we see him as the book ends with a giant spider, not the clown. Also a turtle. Please let there be a turtle.

Awww, Eddie fesses up to not being married (which he is in the book) and to being a virgin - which in the book Bev relieves him of. So I'm super confused right now. Also, Eddie dies doesn't he? This is all kinds of sad. {Note from the future: And pointless.)

Matte-painting of spiderwebs is interesting. Giant 80s effect spider is meh. Close-ups are better.

Bill gets hypnotized, Ben runs in to help and gets hypnotized. Richie makes the losers 0 for 3. I'm not sure where Bev went but Eddie comes to the rescue with his inhaler. Well, sort of. The spider kind of mostly starts eating him. But Bev shoots it. Not killing it. It runs away so they give chase (leaving a [dead?] Eddie behind).

Then they attack it with their bare hands and it's HILARIOUS. They pull out its heart and it dies. Yes, I'm not capitalizing it in this case because the spider is not It. Whatevs.

But they DO carry Eddie out of the sewers which is nice. It bugged me in the book that they left him down there.

Wait, the town didn't collapse on itself? That's bullshit. The idea that Derry is part of It was intrinsic to the book. Leaving that out makes the whole thing just, meaner, somehow. It means that the adults turned away because they were genuinely bad, that Henry Bowers was literally a psycho, that all of the murders remain mostly uninvestigated because the police are douches. This is not good cricket, movie version of book. Not good cricket at all.

But we do get the bicycle ride of hilarity which magically heals his wife for no discernible reason. Which means It has left me giggling rather than scared.

So that's nice.


I'm going to watch some My Little Pony now. Fuck this shit.


My reading of It...

IT Part One
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission 
IT Part Two (redux)
IT Part Three
IT Part Four
IT Part Five

18 May 2012

IT - Part Five

IT Part One
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission 
IT Part Two (redux) 
IT Part Three
IT Part Four

9:09pm - Home
Chapter 19

I like this move into new storytelling, with past and present bleeding into each other. It's interesting and I had been wondering how King was going to deal with two separate climaxes.

A lot happens here, in all timelines. Mike gets attacked and I'm impressed and overjoyed with how calmly he evades Henry. Bill and Bev cheat on their respective spouses - not that I blame Bev but for fuck's sake Bill. And Eddie gets attacked by and seriously injures Henry.

In the past, Bev is chased by her insane father. The hideaway if discovered. Bill leads everyone into the Barrens then into the tunnels because yeah that's a good idea. Who decided to make this kid leader. I like Ben's idea of 'Get the Fuck out of Derry' much better.

And why won't Henry just die already in either time?

3:36pm - Home
Chapter 20

I don't like the fact that the only solid female character in this book is dumb as a brick, but I supposed I accept it. Only because by far the most sensible person is the only black character so I feel the good washes out the bad (and Why? you ask, Do I feel that a black person being sensible is not perfectly normal? Because King is a git who plays on the stereotypes, not to deconstruct them but in a way that says 'I'm aware of them and I don't give a fuck'.)

Into the tunnels they go, again, where Bev's husband has Bill's wife - but they only that Bill's wife is down there. And they don't have Stan or Mike (the sensible one! Why did it have to be you Mike?!) with them so they're chances of success are somewhere between slim and none but they go anyway with no memory of how they got out the last time.


4:17pm - Home
Chapter 21

It gets It's own subchapter, It's own POV and It's scared and there's a Turtle I guess and the turtle and the It have been around forever because, yeah, that make sense I guess.

The power of imagination is enough to injure It, and kill It because it takes on the weaknesses of Its form which is a sucky asterisk on that power (although I'm not complaining in this case, just an overall observation).

And both groups end up in the sewers with It, in the present Bill confronts a giant spider and It's pregnant and OMG how did this not occur to me? There is nothing about this that is good and right and okay and I just.... WHAT?!

4:47pm - Home
Chapter 22

Bill manages to seriously injure It as a child and even thought the turtle (wait, what?) warns him to finish the job his friends convince him to run away.

(A turtle? Really?)

In the present, Bill is overconfident and It gets the better of him, but Richie, of all people, steps in and takes over. Eddie gets an arm eaten off (how circular) and Ben takes on the task of killing all of the baby Its (where did these babies even come from, is there a male It? It says It's alone....) while Bill and Richie chase after to finish the job.

In 1958, the kids lose hope while running away and Bev fucks a sense of hope back into them and for the love of god I wish I was making that up.

5:12pm - Home
Chapter 23

Bill rips It's heart apart and he, Richie, Bev and Ben escape - leaving Eddie behind in a move I find unnerving, like maybe one of the spiders is going to end up using him as food and grow up big and strong and make mommy proud.

It is so intrinsically tied to the town of Derry that Its death causes the city to partially collapse in on itself.

But at least It's dead.... although there is one final Interlude left and I don't trust this at all.

5:21pm - Home
Fifth Interlude

They're all forgetting each other and on the one hand, I'm sad that they're all friends and won't remember. But on the other, I'm freakishly happy that they won't have to live with this forever.

Although... they all seem to take it as a good sign that they're all forgetting what happened. But what if it's It actually doing a full cleanup - and not just missing Mike? The people leaving, not wanting to come to Derry seem to undermine this... but I don't trust anything anymore.

5:29pm - Home

Wait..... dafuq just happened?

Review of It, the movie

15 May 2012

IT - Part Four

IT Part One
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission 
IT Part Two (redux) 
IT Part Three

6:30pm - Home
Chapter 13

I almost never use the work 'epic' to describe something, but the rock fight between the six (seven including Mike) kids and the five bullies is epic. Does Bill actually know it is going to happen? Is it intuition, or the 'magic' that they keep talking about?

And something is wrong with that boy Henry. If nothing else, this chapter has made that abundantly clear.

Anyway, it seems like we have our Magnificent Seven together at last.

7:58pm - Home
Chapter 14

I am enjoying that King is writing the group (dare I call them heroes?) as being both accepting of all that they remember, no one calls bullshit or 'we were just kids playing games' while at the same time you can tell that they're struggling to fit in their childhood experiences with what they 'know' as adults.

I'm not sure the logic of building their own lair underground, especially since they all know that that's where the monster has been hiding out. But they seem to be operating on instinct more than logic so I'll allow it.

When the photos come to life (Again! I hate that. More than clowns) and Pennywise ends up pressed to the plastic it's both unnerving and confusing. There is a sense that that's all that's holding him back - had the plastic not been there he'd have had them. But I have a hard time believing something so mundane could hold him back either.

Confusion, I has it.

8:22pm - Home
Chapter 15

It came from outer space? And the kids do a smoke ritual that should have killed them all (wouldn't it have been funny if the monster had set all that up so they committed suicide?) but doesn't and it turns out that the monster came from... somewhere else. I get it's not from space, but from some parallel - but still.


8:55pm - Home
Chapter 16

Mr King, I don't want any of your meta bullshit. 'If I was in a book it would be like this but it's not', I see what you did there and again, maybe because it's now such a trope, it's stupid and bugs me and whatever.

I'm trying to think if there was a confirmed sighting of the monster in here, not just Eddie's hallucination which were probably real but I'm not sure. The real villain here is Henry Bowers, and I do like of King sets up this monster, but then shows how kids are equally cruel. (Although I do think Henry is being pushed a great deal and not necessarily responsible for his actions.)

But the kids, especially Eddie, standing up to the grown-ups - who are as a whole realizing they can't control these kids - is fantastic.

7:20pm - Home
Chapter 17

I'm not... what is King's obsession with male genitalia?  I mean, yes, it exists, but I read 3-5 books a week on average and I have never seen this much dick across an entire six months.

The boys lighting their farts on fire, Beverly wondering about their 'things' - some light homosexuality. Although given what we learn about Patrick I find that sociopath who killed his baby brother and the kid who willingly jerked off a friend to be a dichotomy. And not in a 'well-rounded character' way, but in a 'what the hell are you doing Mr King?' way.

I think I'm supposed to feel okay that the monster kills Patricj because he's obviously a screwed up kid - but we only really just met him so I'm pretty meh about the whole matter.

I also just realized that King is pretty awful at sticking the "show don't tell" front. He flat out calls some characters crazy (and yes, they ahve crazy actions to back it up) but overall I feel like I've been told flat-out how I'm supposed to feel about many of these characters.

Anyway, the monster threatens them - they all hug... I think I missed how Beverly injured it. She does shoot one of the flying leeches (shoots it magically? Maybe?) but both her and Patrick smashed a bunch without it seeming to affect anything.

7:53pm - Home
Chapter 18

So I thought this would be the final of the kids chapters, the confrontation, Beverly injures the monster (oh, now she does it, not last chapter... okay then) but it ends on a .... not a cliffhangar but a 'more to come'.

I suppose, if I'd thought about it more, I'd've realized that Victor was still alive - that Henery had not pursued team into the darkness that would drive him fully crazy.

But man, supernatural help or not, those kids have chutzpah to go into that house with nothing more than a slingshot. A house Ben at least was too fat to escape from if it all went bad. Jesus kid, that would have been my cue to GTFO.

8:09pm - Home
Fourth Interlude

So..... I'm still pretty confused as to how this all works but I think I'm going to stay that way. How does It make adults go on killing sprees? What in the huh now?


IT Part Five

13 May 2012

IT - Part Three

IT Part One
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission 
IT Part Two (redux)

4:39pm - Home
Chapter 10

So the chapter opens and everyone makes their way into town. They sit and have lunch. The bring each other up to speed and reminisce. It has the feel of a reunion which it is.

Mike, the pure voice of reason who I just love, the lighthouse keeper who saw the storm coming and brought them all back, Mike goes through the details and I wonder just how much he remembers. It's obvious they don't all remember everything - and time and distance from Derry seems to pay into it.

So they talk and discuss the things they could never tell anyone else because it would make them sound crazy and they all, as one, decide to do the one thing they don't think they can. To kill It.

And just when I think this chapter is going to close on them walking out into the afternoon, perhaps with a "And only 6 of them showed at the library that evening" the whole things becomes macabre. Bugs crawl out, blood gushes, an eyeball.... that only they can see.

Does having children mean that you can't see the horrors of Derry?

I do know I will not be eating a fortune cookie in the near future.

6:06pm - Home
Chapter 11

Holy shit.

Ben goes to the library where the clown taunts him from the upper decks.

Eddie goes to the abandoned fields where an entire baseball team of creepy accosts him.

Beverly goes to her old home where an old lady turns into every evil in the world (and it's a sign of how little I know horror tropes that it took me ages to figure out something wasn't right with her).

Richie gets attacked by a statue... again.

And Bill.... Bill gets his bike back? I don't trust this shit y'all. I don't trust it one bit. That bike is going to try to kill them, mark my words.

6:36pm - Home
Chapter 12

Well that was... unexpected.

The monster seems capable of pretty much anything, so why does it need Henry (evil little bully Henry) around to do its dirty work?  Why break him out of the insane asylum?

And Tom, you sick fuck, go home. You are going to die in the sewers or Derry and I am going to enjoy it. And for all of my talk about being uncomfortable being party to this sadisitc voyeurism I will enjoy watching you die.

Audra..... I hope you know what you're doing. Maybe you're the stand-in for Stanley?

6:50pm - Home
Third Interlude

I'm... I'm a little nervous. With the shootout described in such detail, with the monster there carefully orchestrating it... what chance do our protagonists possibly have? Which goes back to my earlier realization that this book doesn't necessarily have a happy ending.

All books have happy endings, at least the ones I read. Your favorite character might die, there will be sacrifices, but in the end evil will be defeated and people will look into a brighter future.

I'm really starting to get a bone-deep depression that this book will not end that way at all.


IT Part Four
IT Part Five

IT - Part Two (redux)

IT Part One
IT Part Two
IT - Intermission

10:20am - Work
Chapter 7

Well, at least these people are talking to each other now. I know, it's a horrible thing to say out loud something you know sounds crazy, to throw yourself out there as being too imaginative and odd - but for Christ's sake kids something is trying to kill you.

Speak the damn hell up.

Anyway, whatever. Eddie is attacked by a leper, pretty sure a legit one the first time who keeps offering him a blowjob. The second time it's the monster pretending to be a leper (there's a thought, does the monster pretend to be x, y or z - or does it actually become them?) who chases Eddie through some bushes.

And then, after damming up the river the boys all sit down and have a natter and three of them fess up to having been attacked by the monster in some capacity. Although compared to Ben and Eddie's stories, Bill's "bleeding picture" bit seems a let down. Except that it took place in his home which I only just realized and we will never be safe again.

1:21pm - Home
Chapter 8

Yes, a lot of encounters have happened in this book, but this is the first time it's felt like any of these kids were in real danger.

Let's back up, shall we?

Richie is my least favorite of the group by far - he was that kid I always disliked because he was annoying, and always had to be the center of attention. Despite that, this is one of my favorite chapters.

One, the fact that whatever is happening in Derry is pervasive floats even more to the surface as Bill and Richie look at Georgie's photo album again. Seeing themselves being lured to their deaths by the clown - the Bill injuring himself as he reaches through the photo is deeply unsettling.

Two, the further treatment of the bullies, and Ben and Richie and Bev (Bev, where have you been?) not only sticking up for themselves but escaping made me want to stand up and cheer.

Then, three, the boys decide to go investigate the leper house together. I commend them for bringing a gun with them, but why on earth did they think two people was enough? And the logic on bringing just one bike with them is astoundingly stupid. And the idea that the monster gave chase on open roads in broad daylight, nearly pulling Richie off the bike.... oh noes oh noes oh noes.

2:20pm - Home
Chapter 9

I'm happy Beverly got a chapter, and that we get to hear what happened to Stanley (I worried with his committing suicide in the 'present' if we would get his story at all). But the blood, jesus the blood.

I can talk myself around being scared of monsters. But the underhanded menace of blood and voices that only you can hear. I can convince myself they're not real but the fact that I'm hearing them is troubling enough. When Beverly decides to go fishing for the monster down the sink drain I had to stop myself from screaming at her for being an idiot. Damn, kids can be dumb.

I did like the opening - Beverly's friend saying flat out that everyone knows Bev was in an abusive relationship. There's no point hiding it.

And poor Stanley, fending off the monster by shouting bird names at it. Richie did something similar with his voices. Those are things that make the kids happy, can the monster be out off or defeated by happy thoughts? It's an old trope now but maybe in 1985 it was a new thing.

Holy shit, 1985? I was born that year.

3:32pm - Home
Second Interlude

So I want to throw this out there before I start, I only just now realized Mike Hanlon was black. Which makes it a jew, a fat kid, a girl, a black kid, a stutterer, and the schizo kid who does voices. It's a veritable melting pot.

I've been weaving between two ideas - one that the people of the town do evil things which feeds the monster, or two, the monster makes the people do evil things. I'm definitely leaning more towards the second right now.

Anyway, the fire at the Black Spot. I know that racism is a thing, still is. But I was brought up in a way that tells me that it's wrong and to read about this - to know that people did these kinds of things, set building of people on fire. Yes, it's just a book, but these things happened in real life too. And the detail King feeds into it make me feel vaguely voyeuristic. Like I'm contributing somehow to these people. There have been whole treaties written about this (Have you seen Cabin in the Woods yet?) but since I don't watch horror movies ever, this is my first experience of feeling complicit in the events going on.

Conversation with my Mother
Me: I decided, against all rhyme and reason to start reading It and it's freaking me out.

Mom: To this day, when I see cats peering into gutters I'm like 'Don't do that, you're going to get pulled down there.' And then I see raccoons poking their heads out and think 'Don't be in there. There are things in there.' I would never go in there.


IT Part Three
IT Part Four
IT Part Five

12 May 2012

IT - Intermission

IT Part 1
IT Part 2

As much as I said I would finish this book tonight, I didn't get a good start on it until nearly 6pm. And I know that there will come a point after which I can't stop, so I'm going to finish for the evening and read one of my romances I picked up at the library instead.

Someone on facebook asked me if I was going to be jumping at shadows for the next few days and the answer is: yes and no.

Yes, I will freak myself out about every sound, every shadow and every time I think I feel something that isn't there. I have an active imagination and in cases like these it is a curse.

But no, it won't be that bad because I have an incredibly logical side too. And that side of me says - nothing has changed in the world in the last eight hours. Reading that book did not cause monsters to spontaneously burst into existence - nor is reading it going to draw otherworldly forces to me.

And the real kicker - even if there were monsters and demons and creatures lurking in the shadows, I am not going to escape from them. That's not my role in life's play. If I wake up and there is a genuine clown in my bedroom holding a bunch of balloons and ready to strangle me - I'm going to die whether I lay in bed fretting about it or not. My bedroom is a prime place to attack as it only has one exit. By the time I know I'm in danger it would be too late to do anything.

So why worry?

That credulous streak, and the ability to turn it on and off mostly at will, is one of my better qualities I think. At least, on a personal useful level.


IT Part Two (redux)
IT Part Three
IT Part Four
IT Part Five

IT - Part Two

Link to Part One

8:35pm - Home
Chapter 4

This book is not outright scary. Not jumping out at you face-eating clown scary (although that's certainly a part). It's every moment IT might show up scary. It's every bush, every rattle, every footstep might be IT scary.

And that's so much worse.

Let's begin at the beginning - are kids actually as viciously mean as the ones I see in books or movies? I remember my childhood fairly well, but the sheer level of brutality in the three bullies of Derry is stunning to me. Which bring me back to an earlier point - are these people really this awful, or does Derry make them this awful? If we put Henry Bowers in San Francisco, would he be an abusive little shit? Does Derry create monsters or just nurture them?

Why am I reading this book?

I really feel for Ben in this chapter. I myself was a loner nerd throughout - well pretty much until now. But while girl's can be mean, they're rarely physically mean. At least not in the same proportion as boys are. (Yes, there's always one girl everyone knew who was an evil bully, but I'm saying that in general when a girl is offended she throws insults - boys throw fists. Ceterus paribus. In the long run on the average. Grain of salt and all that.)

So reading about poor Ben, loving the library but not even able to make it home without being attacked, having to fight his way into the Barrens - a place we soon discover he has reason to fear even more than he does Henry's knife - was heart-breaking.

That he chooses to hide in the dark - with all the scary things he has seen with his own eyes lurking about - makes me want to give him a hug.

God, I kind of hate everyone in this book right now except for Ben. Yes, even you Stuttering Bill.

9:19pm - Home
Chapter 5

I take it back Bill. You are precious and awesome and you have all of my love.

When he rides off on his too-big bike to get his friend's medication (even if it's a placebo and what the fuck people?) comes back and instantly makes friends with poor Ben... only to go home to two parents who have forgotten, in their grief that they have two sons. The loss of the one is enough to tear them apart and poor Bill doesn't know how - isn't enough to bring them back together.

My heart, it is breaking.

But can we please stick to monster creepiness and not blood leaking from under the edges of photos creepiness?

Thank you.


I just went to open the book and start Chapter 6 and had a vision of it leaping forward and eating my face. I'm on page 250 and I'm already hallucinating.

9:57pm - Home
Chapter 6

I'm confused, and starting to get into genuinely scared territory (not just freaked out a little).

The monster can turn itself into what the kids fear most? Is that what I'm supposed to get out of this? Because none of them were scared of the clown for being a clown - only because the clown ended up having crazy eyes and eating them.

But Eddie is attacked by his dead-brother/creature from the black lagoon and Mike by a giant bird - both of them clearly and immediately terrified by the things. It makes me wonder what makes the creature chose what it appears as.

And Mike's dad is the first parent in the book I genuinely like. Team Mr Hanlon Forver! (That would be a timely reference to put on a shirt.)

IT - Intermission 
IT Part Two (redux)
IT Part Three
IT Part Four
IT Part Five

IT - Part One

Stephen King
Grade: TBD

So I'm going to try something new (to me) for this review. The thing is, I've never read IT. It's just not something that ever crossed my radar as a book I might even in the slightest bit be interested in. I know everyone else in the world has read it, but I haven't for two reasons.

1) I loathe being scared.
2) Everything scares me.

I have no reason why I decided, a couple of weeks ago, that I should read the most famous horror novel of all time (is that even up for debate?) - but here we are.

So what I'm going to do is liveblog reading this. I'm a fairly quick reader so even though this books is 8,000 pages long I will likely finish it tonight. Right before I go to sleep. I put no thought into this whatsoever, obviously.

Disclaimer (ie What I already know about this book)
Truthfully? Not a lot. There are some kids being attacked by a monster, that is sometimes a clown. I think maybe theirselves from the future come back to try and save them at some point. OMG, does this mean this book has time travel in it? That would be awesome.

I know there was a movie with Tim Curry that scared the bejeezus out of pretty much everyone and that I haven't seen because see point 1 above. And for the record, I do not have coulrophobia (the irrational fear of clowns) but I do have curryphobia (the irrational fear of Tim Curry eating your face off). Although on second thought, the definition of a 'phobia' is an irrational fear and fear of Tim Curry is a totally rational thing as he's a scary scary man.

Anyways, after my long lead-in, let's get cracking.